fandomtherapy | WTF canon

You know, when they came up with that whole second storyline in canon I was sceptical. It felt like I'd really done this before, but it wasn't like I was going to let my friend be stuck in Hueco Mundo (think of it as hollow paradise). So yeah, I went to fight there. Sure, it was getting tedious continuously fighting those insanely overpowered characters, getting beaten, but always getting up again. At least I got up again and sure, I was getting ridiculously overpowered as well... but sure. I give. I still wanted to save Orihime.

So then they decided to ignore me (the main character) for what? 40 chapters? 50 maybe. Considering there's one chapter a week that's insane, but some of those minor characters were interesting. Even if it was getting boring standing around and waiting so I could finish off that other insane character. But I waited. Except, I really didn't get much of a chance. Did you seriously have to PUNCH OUT MY HEART? There wasn't another way? Having a huge fucking hole in your chest that you can see through is not healthy.

So yeah, I got a bit worried there, but I'm in spirit form which means I might recover. Right? Right??? Except... You turned me into a hollow, didn't you? That thing that's been insane and has been threatening me to make sure I'd be still alive when I met him again? Does getting your heart punched out constitute as being alive? Cause the horns? So not look good on me and I'm not too fond of the entire fashion statement I'm making there. Long hair? So not my thing. Or the anorexic look. Remind me to eat more.

So um... Yeah. I'm a little bit worried over here. Can we um... Finish this storyline already and get me... I don't know... MY HEART BACK?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

... Okay, I'm sorry to have to say it sweetie, but... ew.

When I get sent a heart in a box, at least I'll know who to give it to?

. . . if you ever start looking like that, I'm going to have to avoid you. Nothing personal. Just the slight resemblance to one of my least favorite people.

It wasn't like I *choose* to look like that!

At least I'm not bald?

Also, you didn't decide it would be fun to mutilate yourself, right?

Please tell me you didn't decide that.

No?

*eyes her* Why would I think that?

Those are ... those are definitely some horns, right there.

I mean, my sequel turned me into a bimbo, but my wtfhorns were temporary, and slutty. Yours are neither. That's just.

I'mma pour you a drink, right here.

*considers objecting about the whole age thing*

*decides that if he can look older than 15, he can damn well drink*

Thanks.

And um... Interesting outfit there. With the um... horns and claws and... stuff.

I was supposed to be a Berserker. A feral being of pure frenzied rage and unstoppable blood lust.

I'm not sure why it comes off as "cute" and/or "slutty." I mean, the claws are pretty neat and all, but really, most of the sequel outfits don't make sense to start.

And if you've got horns and no heart and that whole weird hair-skeleton-y thing going, you can totally get some hard liquor.

Berserkers are cute and slutty. Sure! Sort of? Yeah, I've got nothing. At least you have the whole feral thing going for you? Or something.

I kind of like having a heart, I think. I mean... You can see my hair through that frigging hole.

Everything in the sequel was cute and slutty. It was the default. It should have been a subtitle to the game. "Final Fantasy X-2: T&A Brigade."

That really doesn't look healthy, having an enormous round hole in your chest. Also you'd think there'd be gooey bits sticking out of it, and how did someone manage to make that a perfectly round kinda circle, anyway?

I have healing potions, but I'm not sure if they can fix "I'm a spirit-being with no heart and horns."

So they just made it for the fanboys?

Yeah, I'm not sure it would and the guy pretty much said that Orihime who can reject reality and go back to a previous state wouldn't even be able to heal it. So... I'm not sure how they're going to fix it.

I'm thinking the lack of gooey bits is probably cause the guy's cero might have churned the sides. Or it just wasn't handy to draw?

There was a scene of me, my cousin Yunie, and a third girl taking a dip in some hot springs up on the side of a mountain, and playing silly splashy games and discussing whose boobs were bigger. And then a mini-game where you had to give this blonde bitch such a good back massage that she moaned and passed out, which meant you could snoop into her stuff.

Amazingly, entirely, completely about the fanboys, yes.

So ... wait. Orihime has saved games from before this happened, and they won't let her do that? That's seriously bullshit, right there. Can you go after the guy that did it and steal your heart back, or was it kinda smushed to paste?

I guess if there was burny-stuff, it might have cauterized the edges of the hole, but I think a messy hole would've been harder to draw and way less angsty.

Creators are bitches.

...

...

That's just crap. *isn't curious now, really*

Yeah, she's done some amazing healing and even restored this one guy's arm that got chopped off. The heart's gone. He just blew up that part of my chest. And then I turned into that hollow to protect Orihime... Hollows don't have hearts.

Burn them?

Okay, you're rocking the Skeletor look, and missing a huge hole in your chest, so I guess I can be nice and share the skanky side of my canon.

I just wanna say that, you know. FFX, the first game? Was serious. Was about how Yunie had to commit ritualistic suicide to save the world, except there was a thousand-year-old religion and most of it was lies, and she had to stop along the way to perform funeral rites for the dead -- okay? I mean. Somehow, they decided, "hey, a sequel, let's give that up for some Charlie's Angels shit with T&A and lesbian UST." So, uh. My canon is not usually this fucking stupid.

Hot springs. Massage. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Creators need to die. Maybe we can get that guy who smushed up your heart and sic him on them?

... I'm sorry I asked. That's just bad.

I don't think that guy is going to live for very long, I already pulled off his arm. So um... Just sic me on them in that form? It should be enough.

Apparently, in the two years between FFX and FFX-2, everyone got hair extensions and lobotomies.

Nice job ripping the guy's arm off. If you want to take out some of the people responsible for X-2, I can bribe you with ... hrm. Healing potions? I mean, maybe they can plug that hole back into your chest. It's worth a shot, right?

Because it's what we ~~shut up, Riina~~ they do?

Beats doing nothing. You're on.

WTF canon

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject