The Great OOC smackdown! I blame Lily Evans

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

I was on AIM today with ___lily_evans_ and she was trying to explain Gilmore Girls to me as I'd only seen on episode. Because it had been a recent episode she of course had to touch on the recent plot development with Emo!Rory quitting school. To which I replied:


Jonathan-Mun:So wait, she quit school cause one person told her she was bad?
Lily-Mun: yes. lame. ("But he's a real newspaper guy and he would know, and if he says I suck, then I must totally give up all of my hopes and dreams and be a slacker forever!!"
Jonathan-Mun: for real
Lily-Mun: I'm hating her on the show right now.
Jonathan-Mun: I'd bitch slap her if I was her mom
Jonathan-Mun: and if I was her grandmother
Jonathan-Mun: or her boyfriend
Jonathan-Mun: or even one of her friends
Jonathan-Mun: really, I'd start a line of people to do it
Lily-Mun: I would totally be in that line.
Jonathan-Mun: I no absolutely nothing about this show and want to kill her, it must be really hard on GG enthusiasts
Jonathan-Mun: or rather, smack some sense into her
Jonathan-Mun: with my fist
Lily-Mun: yes! it is!
Lily-Mun: do it
Lily-Mun: punch her
Lily-Mun: go to Rory's room right now and punch her, Jonathan!
DeMOCKracyNow: hee
DeMOCKracyNow: I could do it OOC
Lily-Mun: that would be awesome. I would *die*

So I figure, why just me punching Rory for doing something silly in canon? Why not open it to everyone at fandomhigh? So here it is, if a character you know of (or is your own) has done something you feel is really stupid in canon, here's your opportunity to punch them.

Please remember, this is for canon stupidity, not anything you feel was done wrong In Game.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/___lily_evans_/]

Hee!

Just stating love for Rory-mun. :)

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Hee! No worries, I HATE S6 Rory. She's such a little brat. And quitting Yale because freaking Huntzberger Sr. says she sucks? Little Rory, where did you go? I used to love you so!

You down with OOC?

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Can I punch myself? Or my other self, at any rate?

Hey, are you around now by the way? Science Club mayhaps?

Re: You down with OOC?

[http://users.livejournal.com/___lily_evans_/]

She just logged off to go to class, actually.

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

*beats own character with stick* Bad Jedi! No Dark Side!

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Word. Dark Side, or Hot Gay Sex with Obi-Wan? Dark Side, or Hot Gay Sex with Obi-Wan? WRONG CHOICE, ANNIE! :P

[threeweapons.livejournal.com]

Dear Alanna, you are a wretchedily horrible mother. And WTF was the thing with Liam? And why oh why did you name your children after yourself? *tries not to scream*

[sogothcally.livejournal.com]

...Can I just punch the entirety of BSG canon for being mean to Cally? Cause I want to.

[http://users.livejournal.com/___lily_evans_/]

Absolutely! Punch away!

[chasingangela]

Dear Angela, quit being so snotty to everyone who doesn't meet your exacting standards of cool.

Dear Dream, Get over yourself. Now.

Dear Brenda, WHY did you sleep with half of L.A.? WHY?

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Oh, if there was a Nate here, I would so hate on Canon Him.

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Dear late s5/early s6 Rory:

You suck so much. Why do you think I've chosen to play you as you were back when you were cool?

Go back to Yale.
Talk to Lorelai.
Don't be a bitch.
Move out of Emily and Richard's house.
Figure out that Logan is going to dump you and/or is cheating on you.
Talk to Lane more often.
Listen to Paris, for she is wise.
Get back together with Jess, because I love him. (And I know it's not happening.)

No love,

Rory-mun at FH.

P.S. Your hair looks good lately. But that's all the praise you get!

[iwasawesome.livejournal.com]

Listen to Paris- best advice ever. *would hug Paris, but I don't think she'd enjoy it*

[iwasawesome.livejournal.com]

Lilly: You really shouldn't sleep with your boyfriend's father. It's pretty much the dumbest idea ever.

Faith: If you had only gotten a puppy, things wouldn't have turned out as bad. But the whole pussying out thing in the seventh season where you pretty much accepted Buffy's supremely stupid and shitty leadership and behavior? Unacceptable.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

*hugs Faith and gives her a kitten for good measure*

*slaps her for listening to BrittleBitchyBuffy*

*rolls eyes at Lilly* He wasn't even that cute, girl. What. the hell?

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

Doctor--

Nine you is the embodiment of Old Man Angst. I swear to god, even the Immortals have nothing on you. And you're so bipolar. I mean, one minute you're chirping 'FanTAStic!' and the next you've got the classic Ecclescakeston stone gaze. Grah.

Ten, you should really speak with a Scottish accent. I don't care if the actor has reasons. Just DO it. I mean, if bloody Sylvester McCoy did it, so can you, and it would be brilliantly sexy.

And Ten? NO MORE NEW COMPANIONS FOR NOW. Especially not ones who were bloody children's TV presenters in this thing we call RL. 'Cause...yeah.

Now, let's go out and kick some Cyberman arse, mmkay? Mmkay.

Love,
Rhi

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

Dear SG-1:

Vala just saved your asses *twice* with clever sneaky tricks and alien tech.

But noooooooooooo! You have ignore her like a small annoying child when she figures out an excellent way to save the entire frelling universe, forcing her to go off (while you keep bickering) and do it herself and get herself zapped to the frelling Orii galaxy for her troubles!

Ungrateful bastards!

*whomps on canon Sam, Cam, Teal'c, and Danny -- hard!*

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

*whaps the canon crew along with you!*

*muttering* Jack would've given her props. *pout*

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Dear Parker,

Your father is a complete dead loss. Accept it and move on.

Jarod *is* nuts. But you kind of love him. Accept it, move on.

The Centre wants to eat your soul. Grab a passport. Steal a couple mill. Join Jarod on the run.

Please?

If I didn't think you were already sleeping with him off-screen when no one was watching, you would get *such* a smack.

*hugs and chockie*

Parker-writer-mun

[threeweapons.livejournal.com]

*grins like crazy*

[brambless.livejournal.com]

Dear Willow,

WTF?!?!

You claim to love me, but you erase the bits you don't like. I forgives you with absolutely no reason whatsoever (as much as mun loves the ship), and then you have the worst freaking emo temper tantrum of all time? In what possible universe is flaying a guy alive a statement of love?

Leaving you was the best thing I ever did for myself.

Tara

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

Word! and staying gone would have been the 2nd best thing she could have done for herself.

[sensethevisions]

Dear S5-S8 Phoebe---

What the fuck got into you?! He risked everything for you and you turned your back on him and became a selfish, raging bitch!

No Love,
FH Phoebe

[demonbelthazor]

Dear S5-S8 Phoebe --

What the fuck happened to you? Please go away and die and bring back S3 Phoebe. Kthnxbye.

Cole

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

Dear Angel,

For the love of all that is pure and holy, drop the kyerumption bullshit and fuck the shit out of that cute ex-Watcher who clearly worships the ground you walk on. We'll all be happier for it.

Dear Wesley,

Seriously, bend Angel over the desk. He needs it.

[can_be_more]

*gets camera*

[can_be_more]

Dear Aeryn,

...

Um....

Early s4... wait, I'm like the only person in fandom who loves s4. And I can rationalize everything else.

Huh.

Carry on.

Love,
Me

[miss-monochrome.livejournal.com]

::raises hand::

Can I smack her for early S4 then? I'll even trade you Chiana sleeping with Jothee for it.

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

Dear Veronica:

WHY on God's green earth are you dating DUNCAN?

Seriously? He had sex with you when he thought you were his SISTER! Hello?? Also? He left you to wake up alone and panty-less the next morning, leading you to believe you'd been raped for an entire year.

Take Logan back. Or date Weevil. Or Beaver. Or Leo. Or Casey. Or LAMB. Anyone but Duncan. Except Wallace - cause BFF.

No love,

Me

[http://users.livejournal.com/___lily_evans_/]

WORD!!

[forlornslayer.livejournal.com]

Dear Season 6-7 Buffy,

Please tell me, what in the hell got in to you? You used to be such a kick ass character and then you became this whiny wimp.

I want my Season 3 Buffy back.

~Me

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

On a related note: Give Spike back his testicles. Im sure she kept them in a jar somewhere, if she wouldn't mind letting him have at least one back, I'd be grateful.

[demonbelthazor]

Dear Piper, Phoebe, and Paige:

Did it ever cross your minds ONCE that Cole didn't willingly become the Source of All Evil? EVER? Bitches. You fucking abandoned and condemned him and he was family. I hate you.


Dear Cole:

WTF was with the stalking Phoebe in S5? Sweetie, you can do better than that scrawny hag. Go back in time and find her when she was pretty and had better hair and wasn't a heartless bitch.

Hugs and kisses
Cole!Mun

[the4thsister.livejournal.com]

*offers you Paige to beat* She won't it here I promise!

[absolutesnark]

Dear Piper,

Please stop complaining about wanting a normal life. You are not normal and never will be. So shut the fuck up! My sanity begs you.

Me

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

Dear Piper:

Wear more leather.

Love me

Jumping on the bandwagon

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

Dear BSG,

BRING ME BACK, DAMMIT.

Re: Jumping on the bandwagon

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

To rephrase:

Dear Anders,

Why did you stay on Caprica under the EVIL ORANGE FILTER OF DOOM that makes good screencaps of you really hard to get? OMG DON'T STAY THERE ANY MORE. Go find the Fleet, stubborn boy.

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

Dear Bridge:
Um... actually, I can't think of a time you pissed me off. Well, maybe that time with Sophie, but I think that was a kneejerk omghurt reaction to being lied to (even if it was just a lie of omission), so I can forgive that.

Dear the rest of the Rangers:
Quit mocking my boy just 'cause he's a little (okay, a LOT) eccentric.

Love,
Me.

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

Dear Hamlet,

Get over yourself. Seriously. Sitting around whining about how horrible life is and how much you hate yourself & the world will not get you anywhere. Grow a spine and go do something.

Also, randomly stabbing things is not a good idea. Finding out that what you stabbed is your girlfriend's father, and then dragging him up a couple flights of stairs, hiding his body in a closet, and making bad jokes about worms eating him? Just not cool, you jerk.

Cheer up, emo kid!

Love and prozac,
Me

[master-of-fear.livejournal.com]

Have you seen that Hamlet LJ icon where he looks all sad and dark ages?



Everytime I see it now I think of you. Cause Hamlet would have a livejournal to be broody and emo in.

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

Dear Callisto,

Get some therapy. I love you, but you need it badly.

Stop working for Hope/Dahok, you're so much better than them.

Becoming a brainwashed cult victim? Not cool.

Love,
Me.

---

Dear Xena,

It was all Akemi's fault. Get off your matyrdom complex.

Love,
Me.

---

Dear Gabby,

You should have just dumped the ashes.

Love,
Me.

[krycek-rat.livejournal.com]

Dear Krycek,

What the fuck was up with Existence? Whose side were you even on!? And you know you didn't want to kill Mulder, so what the fuck? Should've just dragged him into a closet and had your way with him like I know you wanted to, you stupid stupid rat.

And really, you would've been much better off without the crappy fake arm.

Love and kisses,
Your Mun

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

Dear Kawalsky,

STOP DYING.

Original you? Dead by Season 1, Episode 2.
Gamekeeper you? Blinked out of existence because you were a figment of someone's imagination.
Point of View you? PROBABLY DEAD BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.
Moebius you? You got frakking shot again, you idiot.

Please come back and stop dying.

Love,

Me.

***

Dear Daniel Jackson,

Stop being so cranky. You were better back in Season 3. Only Jack can pull off the cranky old man thing on Stargate. Deal with it.

Love,
Me.

***
Dear Sam Carter,

Pete. WTF?

Love,
Me.

***