pretend there's a subject here

[sixstandingby.livejournal.com]

It's been awhile since this kind of therapy was offered so we do it now. Tell me a secret OF YOURS, Fandom. Tell me something no one else knows. Tell me something you haven't said out loud to anyone yet. And if you don't have a secret, well then, confess something truthful that might not be a secret but you'd still like people to know!

Comments

[intraspective]

That's almost... sweet. In a very Reno-ish sort of way. Like he figured out that he'd miss you if you weren't around.

And I wouldn't mind, honestly, if you wanted to talk. Torture... happens. It's not something to just shove under a rug and ignore--'less you're talking to people who don't get it, then yes of course. That's a different situation.

(Small talk is the heart and soul of any intelligence agency, really.)

Reno and I--I got in a debate with another student about powers. I wound up texting him to see what he thought about it and he called me the night before the party we threw. I messed up and he learnt 'bout what my family does, more specifically, for a living and it freaked him out. And then I freaked out 'cause I didn't want him to be like that...

And. Just. It was a bit of a mess. We're... okay now. But still. It's a bit weird--that's why I was so tired at our party.

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

I think ... I think, maybe, he knew that before, but ... by the time he realized it, I had already decided that he was a jerk, and gotten prickly enough that I wouldn't let him say it. And it took something like me almost dying for us to stop running in circles.

He ... freaked out? There's not much that might freak Reno out. Did he say why? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm nosy, but I can respect the "please don't poke there" spots.

And ... yeah. Torture happens. I'd been in bad situations before, but not that. Never anything like that. We were held for ... almost a day, I think. They wanted information, and they were sick fucking sadists who didn't care how they got it. I didn't break. I should be proud of that, but I just feel tired, and numb. I didn't break, but ... you can get so lost in pain that you don't know your own name. It's terrifying.

[intraspective]

I'm glad that circle worked itself out.

It's not you. But people here don't like what I can do and him reacting like that just... makes it a bit worse, I guess. Trusting people. I'm already banned from using most of my other skills here. He told me 'bout killing Ravens and stuff. That's when I slipped up.

... I can't imagine it, honestly, and most of what I could say isn't sympathetic, not 'cause I don't think it's horrible and awful--'cause I do--but because there's nothing for me to say but 'at least it's over' and that's trite and ridiculous.

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

It's hard when you let your guard down, trust someone, and then find out that they're not okay with some of the pieces of you. I wasn't there for a lot of the mess with the Ravens, but I heard about most of it, I think. Those were pretty dark times, and that might be why it's a sore spot for him.

It's okay. I mean, there isn't a lot to say. It makes for awkward conversation on so many different levels. And I'm not sure what any of it means, or why I do want to talk about it, which is unnerving. Ugh.

Did you at least have fun at the party? I'm sorry you'd had a rough night before.

[intraspective]

It's just weird, I don't know, back home it's not exactly common knowledge but enough of the clans know about it that it's not really a surprise either. My family--we're first in the village in espionage 'cause our methods aren't... orthodox.

Reno doesn't like mind control.

Maybe because, in talking, you can move past it a bit more?

I did have fun at the party! Even though I crashed and burned the next day between the booze, the excitement, and the lack of sleep.