fandomtherapy | (no subject)

Current Mood: emo

(no subject)

So, what's making you emo lately?

And don't lie, I know you're emo. Almost all of us are teenagers, that's automatic emo!

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My species is nearly extinct, everyone I know might be an alien impostor, I may be an alien impostor again for all I know, I have a son who's completely psycho, I'm in charge of a secret murder squad that's trying to prevent the end of mutant kind that's made up of a bunch of people who shouldn't be doing that work, and I remember everything about my century plus of life, even if it is still a bit jumbled.

And you wonder why I don't talk much.

I'm surprised you don't drink more.

The amount of booze it takes to get me drunk is ridiculous, and even then it doesn't last any time at all, so there's no point to it.

I still drink all the time. But that's because I like it.

When did you get a son?

Daniel Way.

Freaking Daniel Way.

Huh.

Maybe he will turn out to be a Skrull?

Nope. It's not happening in any of the tie-in books I'm appearing in. This story stands alone.

And he's apparently going to step up to be one of my big villains. You know, just like Omega Red did. And Cyber.

*grumblegrumble*

...I see.

*offers beer?*

Thanks, bub. *drinks*

Why did I have to kill off Sabretooth in a theoretically permanent way? My villains suck!

...somehow I feel I should be offended by that.

Don't worry, bub, you were a victim of circumstances in my book. I don't count you as a villain yet.

And I did get better.

SING IT, SISTER!

I think I could deal with the son. And I could deal with the "no shirt, leather pants, stuff to stab people with" look even if it's completely cribbed from Drax. I could even deal with the kid's mohawk mullet because really, who am I to complain about stupid hair.

But "Daken"? There's no way I'd give my kid a name that sounded like a German death metal band. That's the last straw.

But he's so edgy. And god knows that's what we need these days! EDGE.

You may be an alien impostor again?

Yeah, the Skrulls kidnapped and impersonated me a few years ago. That plan was completely unrelated to the current one.

But at least the current plan has built-in explanations for why an X-Men team loaded with telepaths didn't figure it out sooner.

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