fandomtherapy | (no subject)

Current Mood: emo

(no subject)

So, what's making you emo lately?

And don't lie, I know you're emo. Almost all of us are teenagers, that's automatic emo!

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Emo? You kids don't know anything about feeling bad. When I was young, I had real trauma. I went against the commands of the Jedi Order and married a girl, trained her in the Force, watched her go evil, had a fight to the death with her that I won but I couldn't bring myself to kill her. She then went on to kill a bunch of my friends before being blown up in battle.

And did I get all depressed about it? No! The Jedi told me that I learned my lessons the hard way and offered to promote me. I didn't mope and accept it. I didn't mope and reject it. I told them where they could stick their promotion, walked away from the order, had plenty of adventures, spent a couple decades with Wookiees, then helped save the galaxy.

Get some perspective and stop whining!

But, dude, Wookies. I think that may be as bad as emo.

Tell that to a Wookiee and they'll give you something to mope about after they've torn your arms off.

I can't mope if I can't flail my arms!

I think arm-flailing might be part of something that's the opposite of moping. (Trust me, I'm a champ.)

So... what... is it called when you don't have arms?

...I knew there was a reason I didn't like you.

Yeah, yeah, wear something that's not black for once and maybe I'll listen to you.

Black is very slimming!

You need something to help you slim down? What, you let yourself go this soon after getting married.

When I got married, I kept in top physical shape. I could've walked around without a shirt all day an nobody would have complained. I didn't need any symbolically-colored shirts to make me look thinner.

I'm totally smokin' without a shirt! I just happen to be really terrible at doing laundry.

Yes. That's what I'm going with. It certainly had nothing to do with not wanting to be dressed like Obi-Wan.

Keep telling yourself that, son.

Yep. Still don't like you.

Yeah, yeah, feeling's mutual, Mullet Boy.

...you rang?

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