Lend Me An Ear

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

So, we've all got our problems. And, if you don't have any problems, well, I salute you. But the majority of us have some issues. And maybe we don't know what to do about those issues. This is the post for you! Ask for advice! Ask what you should do in the case of: how to ask someone out for the first time, how to make long distance relationships work, how to break up with someone, how to tell someone they look fat in those jeans, anything at all you want advice on!

And one and all can answer, give you advice, speak from experience. We can help each other because frak knows, we've all been through some crap.

And really, this is therapy. We should be play therapist!

Comments

[weetuskenraider]

Anyone have any suggestions on how to make my fanatical crazy alien other personality go away? Because she's really creeping me out.

Not that making her go away is ever going to happen. And the first person who suggests an emocoma gets hurt.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

. . . I refuse to talk about it.

[laceycantlie.livejournal.com]

BALLOONS ARE SCARY, OKAY?

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

I found that throwing them in dumpsters tends to work. Barring that, it's all about bitchslapping and letting them know who's boss. Of course, that doesn't always work considering mine took over for a little while.

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

Not even a hint? We're here to help!

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

You know, I don't think they'll actually...hurt you. Why are they scary?

[laceycantlie.livejournal.com]

I'm not actually sure? But I don't think it has anything to do with zombies at my fifth birthday party.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

$*!)#$ YOUR HELP AND (*@#&^%@ YOU, I SAID I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT IT. >:(

[weetuskenraider]

I have the weirdest feeling that trying to bitchslap her into submission is going to manifest itself as the most surreal metaphysical form of emo cutting in the history of possibly ever. o.O

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

The zombies were balloons?

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

OBVIOUSLY YOU WANT TO. GODS, JUST GET IT OUT. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

Can you ignore? That worked for me for awhile. The guy only popped up to give me a hard time. And he wore a body suit. A BODY SUIT. How'd yours get there?

[raspberryturk]

Arm yourself with a pin, yo. That'll take care of any scary balloons you ever gotta deal with.

Or, you could, like, take 'em outside and just let 'em go.

[laceycantlie.livejournal.com]

No, a zombie brought me balloons (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6YQ4Qb3PdU) (at about 6:49).

Except that never happened.

[laceycantlie.livejournal.com]

But . . . they're all floaty and . . .

*whimper*

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

NO, I'D RATHER JUST YELL A LOT AND BE A RAGING BITCH TO ALMOST EVERYBODY AND NOT EVER TALK ABOUT IT. IT FEELS FINE.

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

Any got advice on how to tell your dad that you're not going to be doing what he and most of your planet expected you to do just because you're supposed to be carrying on the family legacy?

[weetuskenraider]

Somebody's twisted idea of a belated fourteenth birthday present?

There was torture. And I don't know it yet but there was implanting of reprogrammed brain cells.

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

YES, BECAUSE THAT'S REALLY PRODUCTIVE. Obviously, there's some rage issues here. I've found that those are best remedied BY PUNCHING SOMETHING THAT ISN'T A PERSON.

[raspberryturk]

I hear there's some kinda helium shortage, if that helps any. Give it time, yo, and there won't be no more floatin' balloons ever again, yo.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

But people make fun squishy sounds when you hit them . . .

[raspberryturk]

There's always the ever popular middle finger, yo. It's amazin' how much one little gesture can really say!

[laceycantlie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but even the ones that don't have helium in them are kind of all . . . ominously round. D:

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

That sounds all kinds of familiar! Mine was less torture, more cruelty but you know. Have you had someone actually look at your head? I mean, physically. Couldn't hurt.

Not that I let anyone look at my head when I was going through all that...

[raspberryturk]

What about the long thin squiggly ones? Are they okay?