fandomtherapy | Issues

My father has staggeringly high expectations of me, favours my foster sister over me, and seems to think that saying he's proud of me once every blue moon makes up for every time he forcibly shoves me at danger to show my courage, or throws me in jail for risking my neck to save a servant. He has massive anger issues, favours his fears over hopes, is extraordinarily irrational about magic and likes to take that out on me and said foster-sister whenever the moment strikes.

And yet I crave his approval like a trained dog. Not that I'd admit to any of that.

~~And he never tells me he loves me unless I've just almost died.~~

Oh, and like Chuck mentioned above, I killed my mother by being born! ... or rather, as I don't actually know yet, the magic used to concieve me killed my mom, and my father still has some Issues over that lot.

Edited 2009-08-13 17:10 (UTC)

Didn't you just admit to that?

This is a blind confessional of things that will never, ever be spoken of outside of

fandomtherapy. So don't ask that question unless you'd like to be stabbed.

Interesting. Threatening to stab me with a sword. I think Freud would like to speak to you know.

I think Freud would tell you that I deal with the enormous pressure on my shoulders by being kind of an asshole in general.

It beats frequenting the emo garden.

Edited 2009-08-13 17:17 (UTC)

So sometimes a sword is just a sword?

Especially when you're using it to club someone over the head for your own amusement.

I'm about to get clubbed, aren't I?

Oh yes.

(no subject)

multi-madrox.livejournal.com - 2009-08-13 17:42 (UTC) - Expand

I used to crave my father's approval like that. And then I realized I wasn't going to get it, and started seeking out older men and authority figures.

I'm in the process of transferring a good chunk of my need for approval to my idiot manservant - who doesn't know how to dress himself or walk in a straight line without tripping - his mother, my foster sister, and in a pinch, my foster sister's maid, Guinevere. Does that count?

Edited 2009-08-13 17:39 (UTC)

Absolutely. It is amazing what the least bit of approval and validation will do for someone who is starved for it.

This is probably why girls with Daddy Issues tend to be such raging sluts.

Yes, that sounds about right. Girls. Yes.

Have I ever... mentioned that the one girl I ever thought loved me and I loved in return ~~although that was totally a spell~~ turned out to be an evil magical creature looking to drown me?

Not that that contributes to any other issues I may have. Or the fact that my father went on a murderous rampage when the love of his life died and he still hasn't stopped, yet. Then again, I suspect that if you and I start to really delve into our issues, we'll be here for a while.

Edited 2009-08-13 17:49 (UTC)

*whaps your father about the head*

*without hands*

*pretends didn't do it* ... well, no.

But I bet Karla would do it!

DON'T ANYBODY BET AGAINST HER. THE BET IS RIGGED LIKE WHOA.

Of course I'd do it! "You are why Arthur is the way he is?!?" *beats*

Arthur has already forbidden me from visiting Camelot. He doesn't want my death on his hands.

I'm uppity.

Spoil my fun.

Maybe if we could find someone sane to be Arthur's stepmom... hmm.....

Would you do that to a Sister? I wouldn't.

Let me rephrase. The only females I'd do that to wouldn't make the kind of stepmothers that would be helpful.

Wellll.... okay. Point. Even someone benign who'd marry the guy would probably not be much use. Darnit.

*keeps mum on certain Season 2 spoilers la la la*

OOOooooooOOOOOOO!!!

*bounce* Really? Really?

Don't get too happy.

~~She's a troll in disguise looking to take over the kingdom and apparently puts more of a wedge between Arthur and daddy dearest.~~

Awww, man.

So you get to go home to more issues. DUDE. *headdesk*

It's the way my canon rolls, man. Arthur acts like an asshole -> Arthur gets a startling moment of nobility -> Arthur is blessed with more daddy issues because of said moment of nobility -> Uther puts on a shallow bandaid at the end.

Ah, yes. Not that I'll be seeing any of that in my NIGHTMARES up until the day he actually dies, or anything.

The mixed feelings are the worst part.