FEARS

[bitten_notshy]

It is BDE eve and I am bored, so it feels like time for Therapy.

What are you afraid of, Fandom? What keeps you up at night?

Comments

[chosehumanity]

Killing again.

And right now... what Herrick and the others might be doing to Lauren.

But that's not the kind of thing I talk about.

[azuldragon.livejournal.com]

What's so frightening about killing?

[chosehumanity]

That it's so easy.

[azuldragon.livejournal.com]

And that's a problem because...?

[chosehumanity]

Because it's not worth it. Because it only makes me feel good as a cheap thrill. Because it means I'm not in control of myself.

Jesus christ. When you're like me, you can smell their fear and their blind acceptance of oncoming death and it is too fucking easy.

[azuldragon.livejournal.com]

I can understand the part about losing control.

It seems like your problem is that you enjoy the killing too much.

[chosehumanity]

I hate it, actually.

It's just that what I am makes it very hard to stop.

[azuldragon.livejournal.com]

I hate it too.

That's the losing control part, isn't it? You like it so much you don't think you could stop if you want to. That would be a problem.

[bitten_notshy]

Hang on. What's happening with Lauren?

Now I'm frightened.

[chosehumanity]

She came to me for help. I tried to help her kick the habit, but she gave up on it and ran back to Herrick.

... This is probably where I should continue to not mention the vampire porn.

[bitten_notshy]

Hell. I hope you get her back. I truly do.

I can imagine vampire porn being *cough* personally interesting. But if you're not talking about it, I don't think you mean the meta equivalent of True Blood, and that's more than a bit disturbing.

[chosehumanity]

No, I'm not talking True Blood. I'm talking vampires filming themselves while they make the kill. Passing it around.

[bitten_notshy]

Jesus Christ, that's horrifying and repulsive and stupid and -- oh, I said stupid. They're going to all get rounded up doing that. There are too many ways you could get caught, even if you aren't visible.

It's repellent all around. I'm almost sorry I asked.

[chosehumanity]

Yeah, well. They thought they could make Lauren make some, and trick me into seeing it, and I'd be running back to it all in no time flat.

... I didn't. Before you ask.

[bitten_notshy]

Please, I think you have slightly better self-control than that. Which goes along with it all being dreadfully stupid.