Ask Little Wooden Boy

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

Do you have problems? Do you think that there's just nobody you can talk to?

You can talk to Little Wooden Boy. He may not be alive. And he may just be a pile of ashes at the moment. But he's still here for you. Talk to the Little Wooden Boy. It'll make you feel better.

Comments

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

Dear Little Wooden Boy,

I'm having a hard time getting up the drive to kill one of my relatives. I know he's guilty of murder most foul and that I'd make my Daddy happy and better my life, but I just can't seem to go through with it. What should I do?

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

If Little Wooden Boy could possibly have a sense of Justice from being friends with The Tick, he would feel very strongly that killing in vengence is bad. And if he could remember his previous advice to people, he would suggest the following to Hamlet:

Have some of the cake that Aeryn makes. Cake makes you happy and less likely to kill. Unless somebody tries to steal your cake, in which case, all bets are off. And then play some Monopoly with Sam and don't call her on cheating. You'd regret it. And if that doesn't completely wipe that persistant bloodlust, take a gander at Pigail!Cally. Just replace that nagging anger with happiness and you'll be fine.

And then go to the UN and see if they'll overthrow your royal relative for you.