(no subject)

[can_be_more]

Explain this holiday to me now, please. You know the one. The one with snow and trees and overweight men in bad suits with worse facial hair. I'm new! I don't know these things!

Comments

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

I will tell you the Horror of Santa Claus.

*coughs dramatically*

Santa Claus is a horrible, horrible demon who lives in the bowels of Hell, Michigan. Don't think that the fact Santa is an anagram of Satan is a coincidence. Anyways, Santa is fat and smells of corn chips. He and his evil wife, Vera, enslave children to make them cheap, crappy toys. They also keep um...*counts on hands* nine demonic deer who love to feast upon human flesh!

And once a year, on Christmas Eve, Santa and his demonic deer leave Hell, Michigan in their 1984 green Yugo and travel the world to create havoc around the world. They break into your house through the chimney and rifle through your underwear drawers. The drink the milk straight from the carton and uh...leave the toliet seat up, that's right! And last but not least, Santa creeps up to your bedroom and sucks out your soul through a twisty straw!

The only way to avoid this disaster every year is to leave milk and cookies out for him on Christmas Eve. But if you don't your soul is so getting sucked out it's not even funny.

Happy Holidays!

[can_be_more]

I understood a lot of the words in that ramble, but not the ramble itself.

*eyes you* Aren't you one of those robots that ruined my date that one time?

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

Head Ripper! I didn't know that was you I was telling that to. I thought it was your twin.

And no, I'm not the robot you are looking for. *waves hand dramatically*

[can_be_more]

*smacks your hand away*

I don't have a twin. Just an unrelated, non-clone doppleganger.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Can robots get stoned? *whaps you over your metal head* Stop messing with the alien brains!