(no subject)

[can_be_more]

Explain this holiday to me now, please. You know the one. The one with snow and trees and overweight men in bad suits with worse facial hair. I'm new! I don't know these things!

Comments

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

Don't look at me. Back home we only do Solstice, and we don't make with the singing or the bad suits.

[can_be_more]

There's singing?

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Cameron would love to explain, only he can't right now. So instead, he drops the tennis ball Draco gave him down to the floor and looks up at Aeryn meaningfully.

[can_be_more]

*looks around*

*can do this in therapy*

*scratches Camwolf behind the ears*

WHO'S A GOOD BOY! Go get it, fetch!

*throws ball*

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

Strongly seconding that one.
And how do they tie in with the Goddess and Baby stuff everywhere?

[can_be_more]

You've completely lost me.

[sogothcally.livejournal.com]

It's called Crispmass. It involves this pregnant lady named Mary, who's obviously more important than her husband Joe, who didn't even father the baby, apparently. Not that that makes Mary a whore or anything. Supposedly the father was...

Immaculate. Funny name, yeah. And there's a drummer and sheep involved.

That's what I know.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Immaculate means clean, which means there was no sex to make the baby.

Seriously.

[can_be_more]

All right, I knew about the sheep. Everyone mentions the sheep. Do you eat them like the chipmunks?

Wait, did you say Mary was impregnated by a drummer?

[pyramid-is-life.livejournal.com]

WTF.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Presents! Candy! Lights! More presents! Eggnog! Snow! Presents!

[can_be_more]

*pales* Presents?

[brambless.livejournal.com]

Oh, I can handle this one.

*rubs hands together*

This holiday celebrates the shortest day (and longest night) of the year, when the Goddess/Mother Earth/'Virgin' Mary gives birth to the Sun/Son, as days begin to grow longer again. The tree is green while everything else is dead and bare, to remind people that spring will eventually come.

The fat guy in the suit... well, he's... yeah, that's a tough one. The overweightness is a sign of affluence, feasting at a time of year when food stores were limited. I think the facial hair is just to keep him warm. Or possibly a mask, because he's supposed to represent the spirit of giving, and seeing his face would make him a person, not a symbol. The suit is from Coca Cola. He doesn't get paid for his job, so it's really not surprising he had to take corporate sponsorship.

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

[looks up from where he's headdesking] Thank you, Tara.

[can_be_more]

So the sheep and chipmunks are sacrifices to the Goddess/Mother Earth thing? That would make sense, I guess.

And the portly man in the stupid suit is a cola salesman. Okay. Got it.

[chasingangela]

The fat guy was supposedly a saint at some point, Saint Nicholas. And he, like, gave money to poor women, or something, so he got associated with giving gifts. And somehow people started saying his name Santa Claus.

I have no idea why any of this is related to the Jesus part.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

He was a bishop. I think.

[can_be_more]

What's the Jesus part?

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

OMG Do not compare Santa Claus with Saint Nicholas. Santa Claus is a cheap fraud of Sinterklaas!!

*flails and has heartattack*

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

*Frowns* I know of him... I was raised Jewish so yeah we don't do the whole Santa thing but there is this really cool cartoon called "Yes Virginia There's a Santa Claus" that I saw once on the t.v. and they said that there is a Santa Claus so... Yeah I guess there is one but he does not come to Jewish houses. I think maybe the big honkin' menorah keeps him at bay.

[can_be_more]

Then you don't get strangers coming into your homes, at least!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wespryce/]

Your whole family tries to make you realize how unworthy you are of the traditions and callings to which you were born. They all get drunk, but you're underage. On Boxing Day, everybody but you has hangovers and is in an even filthier mood than the day before.

I'm considering becoming a pagan and burning people in cages instead.

[can_be_more]

Oh, no you don't. I don't even have a religion and I think I'm stuck with this. You don't get out of it that easily.

[notcalledlizzie.livejournal.com]

Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, who was the son of God. It's most commonly celebrated on December 25th, but in other cultures and countries, such as Russia, it can be a different date. The Russian Orthodox Church, which is a type of religion, celebrates on January 7th. It's a time you tend to spend with family really.

[can_be_more]

...

Different dates? Do I have to do the present buying twice?

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

I will tell you the Horror of Santa Claus.

*coughs dramatically*

Santa Claus is a horrible, horrible demon who lives in the bowels of Hell, Michigan. Don't think that the fact Santa is an anagram of Satan is a coincidence. Anyways, Santa is fat and smells of corn chips. He and his evil wife, Vera, enslave children to make them cheap, crappy toys. They also keep um...*counts on hands* nine demonic deer who love to feast upon human flesh!

And once a year, on Christmas Eve, Santa and his demonic deer leave Hell, Michigan in their 1984 green Yugo and travel the world to create havoc around the world. They break into your house through the chimney and rifle through your underwear drawers. The drink the milk straight from the carton and uh...leave the toliet seat up, that's right! And last but not least, Santa creeps up to your bedroom and sucks out your soul through a twisty straw!

The only way to avoid this disaster every year is to leave milk and cookies out for him on Christmas Eve. But if you don't your soul is so getting sucked out it's not even funny.

Happy Holidays!

[can_be_more]

I understood a lot of the words in that ramble, but not the ramble itself.

*eyes you* Aren't you one of those robots that ruined my date that one time?

[the-ascended.livejournal.com]

Well, it's a festival, celebrated in the middle of winter.

The middle of winter has always been a time for celebration; centuries before Jesus was born, the Europeans would celebrate light and birth in the darkest days of winter. Many peoples rejoiced during the winter solstice, when the worst of the winter was behind them and they could look forward to longer days and extended hours of sunlight. The end of December was a perfect time for celebration in most areas of Europe. At that time of year, most cattle were slaughtered so they would not have to be fed during the winter. For many, it was the only time of year when they had a supply of fresh meat. In addition, most wine and beer made during the year was finally fermented and ready for drinking.

In the early years of Christianity, Easter was the main holiday; the birth of Jesus was not celebrated. In the fourth century, church officials decided to institute the birth of Jesus as a holiday.

Although some evidence suggests that his birth may have occurred in the spring, Pope Julius I chose December 25. It is commonly believed that the church chose this date in an effort to adopt and absorb the traditions of the pagan Saturnalia festival, which was a holiday in honor of Saturn, the god of agriculture in Rome.

called the Feast of the Nativity, the custom spread to Egypt by 432 and to England by the end of the sixth century. By the end of the eighth century, the celebration of Christmas had spread all the way to Scandinavia. Today, in the Greek and Russian orthodox churches, Christmas is celebrated 13 days after the 25th, which is also referred to as the Epiphany or Three Kings Day. This is the day it is believed that the three wise men finally found Jesus in the manger.

In the early 17th century, a wave of religious reform changed the way Christmas was celebrated in Europe. When Oliver Cromwell and his Puritan forces took over England in 1645, they vowed to rid England of decadence and, as part of their effort, cancelled Christmas. By popular demand, Charles II was restored to the throne and, with him, came the return of the popular holiday.

The pilgrims, English separatists that came to America in 1620, were even more orthodox in their Puritan beliefs than Cromwell. As a result, Christmas was not a holiday in early America. From 1659 to 1681, the celebration of Christmas was actually outlawed in Boston. Anyone exhibiting the Christmas spirit was fined five shillings. By contrast, in the Jamestown settlement, Captain John Smith reported that Christmas was enjoyed by all and passed without incident.

After the American Revolution, English customs fell out of favor, including Christmas. In fact, Congress was in session on December 25, 1789, the first Christmas under America's new constitution. Christmas wasn't declared a federal holiday until June 26, 1870.

It wasn't until the 19th century that Americans began to embrace Christmas. Americans re-invented Christmas, and changed it from a raucous carnival holiday into a family-centered day of peace and nostalgia.

As Americans began to embrace Christmas as a perfect family holiday, old customs were unearthed. People looked toward recent immigrants and Catholic and Episcopalian churches to see how the day should be celebrated. In the next 100 years, Americans built a Christmas tradition all their own that included pieces of many other customs, including decorating trees, sending holiday cards, and gift-giving.

Christmas is celebrated differently all over the world. But I think we'll just stick with how we do it in America now.

[can_be_more]

...

*STARES*


((*dies at Daniel*))

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

giraffes?

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

Giraffes!