fandomtherapy | (no subject)

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Explain this holiday to me now, please. You know the one. The one with snow and trees and overweight men in bad suits with worse facial hair. I'm new! I don't know these things!

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Don't look at me. Back home we only do Solstice, and we don't make with the singing or the bad suits.

There's singing?

Yeah, involving bells, and snow, and chipmunks.

All right, we're getting somewhere. What's a chipmunk?

Woodland rodent, cute, fuzzy, kinda chewy, taste a bit like chicken.

Why you'd be singing about one on the other hand...

Cameron would love to explain, only he can't right now. So instead, he drops the tennis ball Draco gave him down to the floor and looks up at Aeryn meaningfully.

Strongly seconding that one.
And how do they tie in with the Goddess and Baby stuff everywhere?

So... There's bells, and snow, and eating woodland creatures while singing about it?

You've completely lost me.

*looks around*

*can do this in therapy*

*scratches Camwolf behind the ears*

WHO'S A GOOD BOY! Go get it, fetch!

*throws ball*

It's called Crispmass. It involves this pregnant lady named Mary, who's obviously more important than her husband Joe, who didn't even father the baby, apparently. Not that that makes Mary a whore or anything. Supposedly the father was...

Immaculate. Funny name, yeah. And there's a drummer and sheep involved.

That's what I know.

Presents! Candy! Lights! More presents! Eggnog! Snow! Presents!

Immaculate means clean, which means there was no sex to make the baby.

Seriously.

No, the creatures are singing. Kind of like in Snow White.

All right, I knew about the sheep. Everyone mentions the sheep. Do you eat them like the chipmunks?

Wait, did you say Mary was impregnated by a drummer?

Oh, so, it's one of those In Vitro thingies? Like, Artificial Insegimination?

...

*boggles*

Humans are weird.

WTF.

Okay. What's a Snow White?

And I know people turn into animals here, but they talk, too?

I don't know! This whole Crispmass thing is totally dumb!

*pales* Presents?

Yeah, which is why I don't understand the whole fuss...

My reaction exactly.

Oh, I can handle this one.

*rubs hands together*

This holiday celebrates the shortest day (and longest night) of the year, when the Goddess/Mother Earth/'Virgin' Mary gives birth to the Sun/Son, as days begin to grow longer again. The tree is green while everything else is dead and bare, to remind people that spring will eventually come.

The fat guy in the suit... well, he's... yeah, that's a tough one. The overweightness is a sign of affluence, feasting at a time of year when food stores were limited. I think the facial hair is just to keep him warm. Or possibly a mask, because he's supposed to represent the spirit of giving, and seeing his face would make him a person, not a symbol. The suit is from Coca Cola. He doesn't get paid for his job, so it's really not surprising he had to take corporate sponsorship.

I agree!

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