fandomtherapy | (no subject)

At least you *have* hair!

There's a reason I always wear a hat, you know. I mean *points* look at it!!!

Can't you get something? A wig? They make great toupees now.

I tried a few of those, they just made it look worse.

And now I've got some crazy chick wanting to 'help' with it!! I just know she's going to wind up making it ~~smell like fruit~~ turn it green or somethin'!

But I'm too nice of a guy to tell her no. I'm trapped between a rock and hard place now.

...Cable won't let me buy a gun. Sorry.

Rock the shaved look?

Well, I have connections for that. *ahem*

Shaved? Naw, already have a mostly shaved member on the team. Another would just be ackward.

I can has firearms? MWahahahahaha. *ahem*

Well, not everyone can pull off shaved well.

Welllll...maybe we can work something out. *coughcough*

That's the truth. I think it was just at this stage of time, ya know? The hair never got better, but it was looking better years later.

I think my problem is just a case of a certain someone fighting nature tooth and nail and a make-up department just not knowing what the hell to do with it.

Bah. Makeup department. They're always "Hey, eyepatch".

You know, I could never get that. What's with the eyepatch fetish anyway? I think I might have gotten stuck with one too at some point.

*pokes the mun to go find out*

*mun gives 'kiss my ass' look*

*sigh*

I tried, man.

Eyepatches are hard core. Don't have hair? Have an eyepatch. It'll distract. Really.

Somethin' like that. Me, it was always with a hat.

Like 'omg! dude! you need to cover that up!' Ugh.

Hats can be stylish. One of those army-style hat that those hipster types like? ~~like I know what a hipster is, dude.~~

Or a sombrero.

Oh yah. I like the fedora thing. Indiana Jones style. And I have a leather jacket too. HAHAHAH!

I've done a sombrero.

Seriously man, you should check out my closet. All kinds of ~~goofy~~ hats.

Hey, that sounds great! There's not much in my closet. ~~not dirty~~

I have *goes digging* a chef's hat, the already mentioned sombrero, a cowboy hat, an old style pilot's cap, the fedora, a grey felt fancier one *see there*, a hard hat, a dress uniform hat, ooh! and a general's dress one, and geesh...how many more are in here anyway?

I think I'm a bit scared.

...is... that the thing from Carmen Miranda??

You should be. *cackles manically*

I... *stares at it* How the hell did that get here??

I don't want to know. Really.

There are scary things in my closet, man.

And that's before you get to the metaphorical one.

It's in your closet and you don't know how it got there? *stares at it* I'm kinda hungry. I want oranges now.

...do I even wanna know what's in the metaphorical one?

Then have some! *hands over the fruit hat* What am I gonna do with it? Besides possibly eat it. *snatches an apple*

That happens to me all the time. Forgettin' stuff. Intermittent memory loss. And no. You don't really want to know what's in there. Trust me.

Hell, *I* don't want to know so I avoid it whenever I can.

There's a word for that *eats orange*. It's a river in Egypt. So I've heard.

That's the Nile, not denial. Bit of a difference, dude.

And I know, I know. My shrink tells me I'm in a perpetual state of it. That and the constant fantasy realities. We all have our quirks, man.

*eats calmly*

You have a shrink? Isn' that...not normal?

Good oranges.

Are you kiddin'? Everyone's got a shrink nowdays! It's the latest thing. Can't cope with stress? Get a shrink! Repressed emotions because Mommy never bought you that Barbie doll? A shrink!

You all of people should know this! It's the sign of the times! The 80s man!

...

Or did all that come later?

I think that came later. I'm from the 60's ~~maaaan~~. That car that Professor Winchester drives? It just came out.

Why is everything shrunk in the future? Will I get shrank?

What? The 60s? Are you sure?

I don't know why they're called shrinks. Possibly because they try to get in your head? You know...like some kinda weird witchy head doctor. Ooh! I'll bet that's it!

I hope things don't get shrunk in the future. How else would I fit in my clothes?