http://slapbetcommish.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomtherapy2008-10-12 09:29 am
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*puts stethoscope up to all of you in turn*

So what seems to be the problem?

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[identity profile] crazypilotman.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 05:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I just found out that my best friend got me drunk, ditched me with some woman he didn't want who wound up having my kid, discovered the kid is no other than JACK BURTON, who's informed that I'm going to be a grandpa on top of being a daddy becuase I also got my girlfriend's maid pregnant.

Oh, and I'm now bent on killing my ex-best friend.
Edited 2008-10-12 17:50 (UTC)

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, the Jack Burton thing would explain why you have a cancer of the mullet. I'm very sorry. Must be genetic.
the_merriest: (uhhhhh...)

[personal profile] the_merriest 2008-10-12 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Everyone's kinda weird, I keep expositioning a lot, my roommate is a junkie and my kinda-boyfriend just got killed by his own evil twin.

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so very sorry but you seem to have a cirrhosis of the exposition, and will need to stop immediately if you want to live.

[identity profile] clevermsbennet.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I am a Darque Creature who Walks in the Nyte.

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Then I'm really very sorry about this, but it seems you have nyte blindness.

[identity profile] crazypilotman.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
But you're a sexy Darque Creature.

[identity profile] thismaskiwear.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I just have this strange feeling that I'll never be able to say all this stuff happening to me this weekend was only Fandom weirdness or a dream.

Dammit.

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
You may be able to say that about the disease of the prostate I am diagnosing you with, though. Bright side!

[identity profile] not-fangirl.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm a whore with more boobs than brains.

Who haven't I shoved them at yet?

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I've told you before to be careful with those. You could put yourself or someone else into a coma with them.

[identity profile] notthehulk.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I died a virgin! What cruelty!

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
That's very strange, as you seem to have a rare kind of STD. Irony, wow.

[identity profile] mouthy-merc.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I have a crush on eeeeevery boy!

And my son hates me.

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe your Count Choculitis will bring you and your son together. I'm very sorry to tell you this way.

[identity profile] not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

THE SKYWALKERS AND WINCHESTERS WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT THEM!

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd advise you come to the clinic for a checkup. Your X-rays show a shadow on your maniacal laughter and I'd like to do some tests.

[identity profile] mparkerceo.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 08:20 pm (UTC)(link)
My husband refuses to cooperate with my plans to kill him! Damnit.

Do you think therapy will help?

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
No, I'm sorry. Because you see, you both have a condition of the gluteous maximus. It's fatal for one of you. Have fun guessing which!

[identity profile] stocksgrrl.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I'm, uh, dead?

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-12 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry, it appears you're actually in a coma. I'm very sorry.

[identity profile] likeguidelines.livejournal.com 2008-10-13 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
LOUSY FREAKIN' RUM-WIELDIN' SQUIRRELS!

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-13 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
Not to worry, they all caught alcoholism!
heromaniac: (eyes)

[personal profile] heromaniac 2008-10-13 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
I WAS SUDDENLY STRUCK BLIND!
Edited 2008-10-13 02:20 (UTC)

[identity profile] slapbetcommish.livejournal.com 2008-10-13 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry, but you seem to have gone blind. I'm also sorry that it's fifty percent fatal. Good luck with that!
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