The Future Freaks Me Out

[bitten_notshy]

So, children, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Half marks if you say "redeemed" or "good" or anything cliched like that. No one makes a living just by being redeemed.

[OOC: Because Tara's talking to Kennedy about it and I demand Friday OOC-but-ICness.]

Comments

[living_endless]

Hmmph. Didi didn't particularly have patience with you in this mood either, you know. She was just kind enough -- and, yeah, maybe young enough -- to hide it more than I am.

Your world is what it is. But the amazing, crazy, wonderful thing about being alive is that you get choices about how to react to that. You could slap the X on your belt and see if it starts to feel right. You could go find an apartment in Singapore, lock the door and never come out. You can busk in Finland with a scarf over your face and tell anyone who asks that you aren't a mutant until they quit asking.

And that's not even getting into the choices you might have in a year, or five, or fifty -- things you can't even imagine yet. That's the childish thing, Jono. It's not that you're overwhelmed. It's overwhelming and I know that. The childish bit is that you've barely started playing the game, it's not going the way you want it to and you're afraid you'll lose, so you want to take your toys and go home.

You might think I'm being simple. Maybe I am. Sometimes I think things are simpler than humans make them.

As for what we'd talk about for eternity ... I don't know. It makes me sad to try to think about it, since we probably won't get to find out.

[furnaceface]

You know, one of th'worst things about this moment- this one, right this very instant, is that I'm not just acting childish. I feel it, too. I feel... small and stupid and helpless and afraid.

I don't love her because she coddled me. I don't love her because she tolerated me. I love her because she knew me, and even when I felt this way, it didn't feel as though th'walls were moving in more tightly around me. She kept telling me that I was strong, and I believed her. She was so... So easy to believe.

Maybe I'm just not certain who it is I'm supposed to be strong for, now. I don't feel it.

[living_endless]

One of the worst things about this moment, for me, is that part of me is still in love with you, and I'll never get to talk to you again except OOC-but-IC like this, and I'm wasting it lecturing you. Maybe that's as childish as anything you're doing.

I say you be strong for Jono Starsmore. He deserves it, and he isn't going anywhere.

[furnaceface]

I suppose... You'd know that better than anyone.

I am trying. For what it's worth. Trying is about all I can do. Maybe living will come after that. Maybe it won't.

The risks we take, moving forward.

I'm sorry I couldn't open my eyes.

[living_endless]

Don't be. All you missed was me waving and walking away really fast like a dork.

Trying is all I can ask for, that and moving forward. Thanks for doing it.

[furnaceface]

And thank you for a year spent, proving to me that I can.