REAL TRAUMA ZOMG!

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Help me!

My stupid mun is one of those raving lunatic Red Sox fans. Like, the kind that names pets Oil Can and has more Sox T-shirts than underwear (no, really) and thinks the real new year is in April.

NOW THERE IS A DUDE NAMED AARON BOONE LIVING IN TOWN. AARON FRELLING FRAKKIN GORRAM BOONE! Blah blah blah Cabalcakes. My mun has a shiver of horror whenever she sees the name, and she doesn't even know the fandom!

What if he tries to kill me? Or hit a walk-off home run in Game 7 of the ALCS, leaving my mum dangerously close to being arrested for drunk and disorderly and public urination behind the Broadway T stop? Shewe'll never recover!

She's never going to let me out of my room again! Eventually I will run out of toast! And Alanna's a cool roommate and all, but she doesn't swing that way. I'm going to need to start reading creepy Internet pr0n to survive!

And he's everywhere!

I AM GOING TO BE A VIRGIN UNTIL I DIE BECAUSE OF AARON BOONE!

Comments

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

((OMG THE PACKERS ARE KILLING ME.

*another Pack fan here*

GET AN OFFENSE BOYS!))

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

((I KNOW, WHAT ARE THEY DOING!!!!!!1))

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

*pats you strange football people*

Whee hockey. GO CANUCKS GO!