REAL TRAUMA ZOMG!

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Help me!

My stupid mun is one of those raving lunatic Red Sox fans. Like, the kind that names pets Oil Can and has more Sox T-shirts than underwear (no, really) and thinks the real new year is in April.

NOW THERE IS A DUDE NAMED AARON BOONE LIVING IN TOWN. AARON FRELLING FRAKKIN GORRAM BOONE! Blah blah blah Cabalcakes. My mun has a shiver of horror whenever she sees the name, and she doesn't even know the fandom!

What if he tries to kill me? Or hit a walk-off home run in Game 7 of the ALCS, leaving my mum dangerously close to being arrested for drunk and disorderly and public urination behind the Broadway T stop? Shewe'll never recover!

She's never going to let me out of my room again! Eventually I will run out of toast! And Alanna's a cool roommate and all, but she doesn't swing that way. I'm going to need to start reading creepy Internet pr0n to survive!

And he's everywhere!

I AM GOING TO BE A VIRGIN UNTIL I DIE BECAUSE OF AARON BOONE!

Comments

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

*snuggles Lisa*

I'd offer to help you, but my only sexual experience was with my exboyfriend (who, OMG, thought he was my BROTHER) and I was too drugged to remember it (THANK GOD).

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

My mun's from Wisconsin and goes to school in Massachusetts, so she both knows how yours feels about loving a sports team ((WHY MUST THE PACKERS SUCK SO BADLY THIS YEAR, WHY?!)) and also thinks that Red Sox fans are psychotic...

She suggests exposure therapy, one bit at a time.

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Oh God, you just had to bring up Duncan, didn't you? Like my trauma wasn't enough for today!


We should start a sexy club. The boys had a virgin club, and then they all got laid! Maybe it would work for us!

At minimum, we could play Master/Slave a little more *wink wink*

*snuggles Veronica*

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

Oh, that explains my mun's involuntary twitch at the name too, then.

Guh.

ZOMG IS IT APRIL YET?

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Exposure therapy? That sounds kind of kinky...

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

ooooh.... yes... master/slave games could be quite enjoyable... your place or mine?

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

It isn't fair! I will be rendered a hermit for all of eternity because of Aaron Boone! Maybe we should get him to play basketball with us and then take out his knee.

HOT STOVE ZOMG!

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

We should probably rent a hotel room. Sturdier bedposts.

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

*wonders where she can buy some handcuffs*

*also wonders if Faith would let her borrow her whip*

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

((OMG THE PACKERS ARE KILLING ME.

*another Pack fan here*

GET AN OFFENSE BOYS!))

[demonbelthazor]

*growl* My Mun's living in MA as well, but is from Minnesota, and haaaaaaaaaaaaates the Packers. But the Vikings aren't doing much better and just lost their QB for the season and *FLAILS!*

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

We could probably borrow the handcuffs from LAMB ZOMG!

And we could just invite Faith. She seems like a fun girl. And by fun, I mean... a good time. And by a good time, I mean... *coughsputter*

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

EW no thanks - god only knows what he might have used them for!!!!!!

I'm up for that... the more the merrier... we could invite Piper too... she looks hot in leather...

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

Steelers all the way, BABY!

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

My mun can't talk about football right now. She might have bought a 30-rack to get through today. Is that bad?

[demonbelthazor]

Excuse me, what team has 3 Superbowl rings from the past 4 years?

[demonbelthazor]

My mun is flipping back and forth between Pats-Dolphins and Vikings-Giants and twitching and whimpering. Oh wait, interception by the Vikings and 92 yard run for TD and my mun is dancing around her room and shrieking. Make her stop.

[valentine-tart.livejournal.com]

Hates! *diehard Browns fan*

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Word, yeah she does. And if the bondage thing doesn't work out, we could always start a new branch of Charlie's Angels. We just need a Bosley... I'm thinking... Barbossa?

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

I dunno... Bristow could be amusing...

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

OMG - I totally knew you were evil!!

;)

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Perfect! Every school needs an elite squad of teen girl assassins!

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Perhaps an IV of wood grain alcohol would have been more appropriate *sobs*

[valentine-tart.livejournal.com]

Assassins? Can I play?

[valentine-tart.livejournal.com]

I am. Am so totally evil forever.

And also?

The Bengals suck. ;)