fandomtherapy | (no subject)

(no subject)

I have three problems.

1. Have you ever found out you exist in an alternate reality? One where you lost your OMG PERFECT job and way of life for standing up for your nearly-executed boyfriend? It's not fun. And worse, this is probably going to make things messier with the not-nearly-or-otherwise-executed-at-all-in-this-reality boyfriend when my posting here is over. *headdesk* *headwall* *headlamp*

2. I'm not complaining at all about the four days straight of sexing up (I'm sorry, Cameron, am I rubbing it in?), but I'm afraid I might lose mobility soon. Again, that's worth it. But how do I keep someone from commenting on it before I have to shove their own foot down their throat?

3. People seem to think I'm threatening. Advice? If Little Wooden Boy could talk, he would have said I should bake cake, but there are a lot of people at this school.

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1. Mm. Sorry, but no.

2. Just play it cool. If you give them something to tease you about, then they will. So... just be cool. Even if they do start to give you shit... just. be. cool. Smile. You've been ~~having teh hotsex~~ enjoying your person's company for four days and they haven't. Just be happy and thankful that you're so fortunate.

3. Smiling is a good start. Body language is also a very powerful means of communication. If you cross your arms or stand rigidly a lot, people will be intimidated and feel you're unapproachable. Just keep your hands loosely at your sides, keep your body relaxed and smile.

1. Damn.

2. Thank you.

3. My smiling a lot tends to make people nervous. I can try the body language thing, though.

*tries* *fails*

You'd think with 2., I'd be less tense.

Sooo... maybe keep working on 2 until you're not tense anymore? I know good sex always makes me feel nice and relaxed!

I was feeling pretty good this morning... (day five...)

I'm just going to have to lock him in his room with me. That's all there is to it.

And, y'know... if it works for you, you might wanna try jilling off. That totally counts towards the good vibes (though if you like using those, that's cool, too).

...

So I'm kind of new to this planet? And the context of the word "jilling" is a little confusing.

My mun is laughing really hard, though.

Heh. Okay, well... on earth, when guys masturbate, they call it 'jacking off'? It's just ... kind of a slang term. When women do that (masturbate, that is), sometimes they call that 'jilling' or 'jilling off'. There's this rhyme about these two people called Jack and Jill going up a hill? That's where that came from.

Basically? You get yourself off. And... if you haven't done that, then ... this conversation's gonna take a while...

Hey! My mun has a goofy grin on her face - huh. Weird.

...

I admit nothing either way.

She's laughing harder now. I think she's actually crying a little.

That's totally cool. Whatever you're comfortable sharing or not is totally fine. There's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, though, seriously. Sex is a healthy thing, whether you're doing it by yourself or with someone else.

... that gives me an idea, though. If your boyfriend gets tired out (after five days, if he hasn't, I'd be, like, so amazed - unless he's not from earth, too, and has like ridiculous amounts of stamina or something), you could try mutual masturbation. It's just as fun, but it doesn't have to be, like, crazy athletic or anything.

And now my mun's giving some more thought to the idea of Shane hosting a sex/relationship advice talk show on Fandom Radio... *bg*

*considers, cuz omg five days can be a lot*

*listens to mun* She says if all else fails you can set up a booth in town with a little sign saying "The Sex Doctor is IN". She's giggling again.

Just remember to take a breather every now and then. Maybe get some food, take a shower... give each other a massage... enjoy the whole afterglow thing a little, maybe.

*confers with her mun* Well, I'm already acting free-shrink in town, so sex doctor is just one more thankless job... *sigh!*

Well, I've found there's really more time for that kind of stuff on the weekends. The weekdays are more of a "No, NOW" kinda thing. Though the shower the other day was nice. Might have to do that again.

It's really just like opening a new branch to your practice.

Absolutely. Make the most of your weekends, when you can. There's nothing like being able to spend the whole day in bed with your sweetheart(s).

Totally. Too bad I can't open up, like, a franchise or something.

Just one. Of those sweetheart things. *feels weird saying it* At the very least, it keeps things simple. Plus, you know, one true love, yadda yadda...

You could write a book, though.

I really do believe, though, that there is such a thing as being in love with more than one person in your life. Hell, maybe even at the same time. Right now, I've got two girlfriends and we're doing ~~theomgdirty!~~ excellent.

True!

The alternate me had that. At different times, though. This time's just a little big different.

~~Yay for theomgdirty!~~

I'd pick up on this reading thing faster if you did write it. I'm just saying.

Well, y'know - whatever works for you, right? Just go with the flow.

~~Definite yay for theomgdirty! Againagain!~~

For you, I could be persuaded. ~~Reading is fundamental, after all.~~

~~There's no such thing as too much. Well. Except that he's about to pass out and I'm tired and I'm a superior species. But yaydirty!~~

Thank you! ~~Especially if there are pictures.~~

~~Fucking to the point of unconsciousness and physical exhuastion is... not sexy. Still - yaydirty!~~

You're so very welcome. ~~I could persuade my girlfriends...~~

It was just fine until this morning. I think there will be cuddling for a little while. Frell, do I still have my own room? But yaydirty!

Hmmmmm.

~~Well, if it falls off... then you'll know that it's been a bit much. Yaydirty!~~

~~IT HAD BETTER NOT. It can't do that, can it??? That doesn't happen to my species!!! But yaydirty!~~

~~Well, I guess that depends on, umm... what species he is? That doesn't usually happen to Earth guys... not that, um... not that I really know all that much about that... yaydirty!~~

~~Well, he's human. And an... Earth guy. And you probably would have heard if that was a problem, right? It would be common knowledge? But yaydirty!~~

~~Well... I'm pretty sure they're not detatchable. There was this one chick who, uhh... kinda cut her boyfriend's off, but - totally isolated incident. Yaydirty!~~

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can_be_more - 2005-11-16 03:27 (UTC) - Expand

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