fandomtherapy | (no subject)

I've been lying to everyone since the day I got here about who and what I am, and why I'm here. I'm a raging hypocrite, since I yell at other people for not trusting me, and my friends are all going to hate me.

Sadly, that's not what's making me emo. What makes me emo is knowing how he's going to ~~hate me~~ look at me like I stomped on his puppy, and I can't fix it.

There's no way to make things better? He won't understand at all?

Honestly? I don't know. I don't even know how to go about trying.

There needs to be an instruction manual for these things. It'd make things clearer.

No kidding! The publisher of that book would make a fortune, right? I'm starting to formulate a theory that people want us emo ~~for ratings~~ for entertainment value. There's no reason we should all be so miserable.

Hate you?

Okay, you might not hate me. If I start getting emo and hiding out at the range, drag me to the bar?

To the bar, totally not a problem! And then we can go to the range! And scare the crap out of people by being armed and drunk, wow.

And, yeah, not going to hate someone for a mission.

Ino, you're a ninja. You're always armed, and occasionally drunk.

Wait. I'm not seeing a downside to this. I'm so in.

Well, yes, but I normally don't try to shoot or stab things when I'm drunk. I expect people to be more fearful if I am out to stab things.

...it's probably a good thing I'm normally a cheerful, chatty drunk, right? Or they'd probably take away my weapons all the time instead of just when I'm in the dorms.

I think people would be plenty-fearful of a cheerful, chatty, drunken Ino waving a weapon. It's the happy-cheery-cut you NOW that is both amusing and terrifying.

So. How would you tell someone about a mission that you might have neglected to mention? Any tips?

People think I'm terrifying even when I'm happy? Score!

Um. It really, I guess, sorta depends? Like, are you telling them out of your own free will, or do they find out first and you've got to explain it?

Either? Both? I have no idea what I'm doing.

Be as honest as you can be then, I'd suggest. And, you know, again as much as you can, keep on telling the truth.

I mean, yeah, some people might still have issues with you lying, but if you keep on lying even after you tell the truth about being an agent some of the people that stick by you after that, would probably start to not take it so well.

And, uh, blame work. Like, a lot. Shift as much of the blame for lying onto work?

It is SO work's fault. I rationalize so much of this as, "If I tell and my boss finds out, I'll get yanked from school."

When in doubt, blame the priest. Somehow, I doubt Romeo would have a problem with that plan.

(no subject)

intraspective - 2008-07-28 02:40 (UTC) - Expand

You aren't giving me much credit, you know.

I probably will give you that look.

But you did give me a second chance in a similar circumstance. I haven't forgotten that.

So if I come up to you tomorrow and ~~spoil the series for everyone~~ tell you everything, you'd be fine? "Romeo, koibito, I'm a Witch Hunter, I always have been, and I've been reporting back to my superior this whole time," you'd be okay with that?

What time frame are we talking about?

No, my immediate response is not going to be "That's okay, Yurika, have a cookie you poor thing," and not just because I don't say okay except IC-but-OOC like this. You've been lying to me fairly directly for six months. I'm going to give you that look and I'm going to scream and I'm going to want to know what you told your superiors and if you chose me because I've killed before. Then I'm probably going to storm off and I might not want to deal with you at all for a little bit.

But. Do I think we can talk through it? Do I think we can, eventually, get back to where we are -- or to an even better place, since you won't have that hanging over you? I think that's where you aren't giving me enough credit. You know I've been broken before. I heal, and quickly. I can forgive, too.

Edited 2008-07-28 02:14 (UTC)

...

If you tried to give me a cookie and pat me on the head, I might just punch you. I don't need you to coddle me.

Don't you get it? I know you've been broken before, that's why I'm so scared of breaking you again.

I don't need to be "protected" with lies any more than you need to be coddled.

You are the world to me right now. But no, you can't break me so I would stay broken. I don't think that can even happen.

I'm sorry, are you under the impression that I'm enjoying tap-dancing around the truth with you? Because I'm not. At all.

Unfortunately, it's not all about you, and it's not even about me. It's the mission, and that has to come first. Or would you rather I just pass on the whole thing and let people die?

I'm sorry, darling, where did I say I thought you were enjoying yourself? Because I don't think I did.

... no. I don't think you should let people die. But I can't believe those are your only choices.

Or do you think I can't keep a secret?

Romeo, I ~~love you even if I can't admit it to myself~~ adore you, I do. With everything I have. But you can't even keep a secret during a drinking game!

Oh, that is so not fair.

Juliet isn't a secret -- it was something I was having a hard time telling you for reasons of my own. But I don't generally go running my mouth off about Tybalt, and I would have guarded your secret with my life.

Not that you trusted me enough to find that out.

And I am sure there is more to be said, but my mun is reminding me she has to be at work in eight hours. Bah.

My mun is pitching the same fit, actually.

No, she was a secret. You made a choice to tell other people and not me. Unless my English is wrong, which is possible, that means you kept her secret from me.

Yes, for reasons of your own, but how is that any different from what I'm doing? I'm not just lying to you for no reason, Romeo. You may not think much of my reasons, but they are my reasons.