fandomtherapy | (no subject)

(no subject)

So.

What's on your mind lately? Happy? Sad? Wanna air some grievances? Confess a crush? How are those minds of Fandom doing?

I'm not a therapist, I don't play one on tv but I have nice arms!

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Bruce Wayne is acting more like Batman at the moment.

This makes things like talking to him and finding out whether or not I'm going to be summoned back to Gotham in a couple weeks tough.

Oh, yeah, he's all about sending away and then resummoning his allies without warning. That makes life fun.

Can you break up with him?

... EWW.

EWW.

EWW.

Just because he took me in when I was a lonely orphan and he eventually gave me tights and a cape to wear every night doesn't mean that there's a relationship that can be "broken up." He's like my father. Eww.

I mean, if this were West and Ward, that might be a different story alltogether. But EWW.

Wait.

Can we rewind to the capes and tight? I'm a little confused.

Nope, you heard nothing about anything.

Tell him to get over himself, and to go bang Superman until he feels better.

What? It always works on Midnighter.

In six years I'll tell him that AND punch him in the mouth for emphasis.

Three years after that he'll bang Superman's girlfriend.

It's fun looking at the future.

You're a brave one, aren't you?

Well, I follow up the punch by disappearing off the face of the earth for three years in order to learn how to be my own man.

And then I'll prove my independence by fighting crime while wearing an awesome mullet. Seriously, my mullet will kick ass. No, really!

You keep telling yourself that.

I will. Because it's true.

It's a mullet.

In the comics at the same time, Superman had a mullet. You can't tell me that Superman's mullet isn't awesome.

Watch me.

... Okay.

*watches*

Superman's mullet isn't awesome.

Red Superman will totally yell at you for saying that while Blue Superman cries.

I don't know what those things mean. I'm a Wildstorm character.

Wildstorm: Characters who don't understand the radness of mullets.

Oh so we're the sane lot then?

You're the lot that thinks the 90s are nothing but ultra-violence.

I'll have you know that it's ultra-violence AND MULLETS.

You're so weird.

So, when you get the mullet, do you get to wear pants, too?

Nope. I get a sleek black bodysuit with my new logo in light blue.

And the suit has little wing thingies under the armpits so I can glide long distances as my mullet blows in the wind.

...

Well, money can't buy taste, I suppose.

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