Oh noes!

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

My pillow and have separated! Our relationship has fallen apart. We fight everyday about when I should fall asleep! I don't know how to recocile with it!

Oh noes! I've just been served papers! My pillow has taken ownership of my bed!

WAAAAH! I NEED THERAPY!!!

Comments

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

No! Not the pillow! You got to fight this thing, nothing can come between a man and his pillows, damnit!

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

I don't know what to do! It says I only come to it late at night and never spend any time with it! I have no idea how our relationship can be saved!

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Okay, first of all, you got to make sure you treat it right. Don't use it in pillow fights, because then it will feel used and abused. Not a good thing.

Do you hug it enough in the morning? Pillows like to get snuggled. Also, if you're in your room doing other stuff, take it with you. Use it when you're watching telly, when you're doing homework behind your desk. You got to make it feel needed, man.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

I snuggle with it every night, but it says I'm not giving it the time it needs. It says I'm too busy, but who puts a roof over it's head? Hmm? Who gives it a good washing when I've drooled on it too much? And it says I take it for granted?!!

All it does is lie there and do nothing.

I think... I think the magic has gone out of our relationship.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Oh man, that's... bad.

Have you considered a new pillow case to spice up your relationship?

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

*sobs*

I've tried everything. I even gave it a spider-man pillow case. It just made things worse.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Spiderman? That's the last resort. Shit. *pats Marty*

Maybe you need to give each other some room? Have you tried letting Angela put some of her perfum on it?

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

It's jealous of Angela. It says I spend all my time with her talking and angsting and not enough time sleeping.

They... they don't get along. It's causing such a strain!

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Oh! I think that explains it then. Hmmm, take it with you on a date?

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

What? You mean wine and dine my pillow? I don't know if I could take it with me on a date with Angela. It would just get jealous.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Just try to include it in the action? Go for a picnic and both use it?

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

*sniff*

You think that will work?

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

*manly comforting pat on the back*

It's worth a try. Can't get much worse.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

*ponders*

I don't know. Maybe I should just get a new pillow. One that isn't so demanding.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

But how long does it take before it feels just right to you again? Breaking in a new pillow blows.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Plus there's the whole firmness/softness factor.

Picking a new pillow can be hard work. You can't just go out to a nightclub and think that the pillow you come home with is going to work out.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

No, it isn't. People just don't realise how much goes into it. It's a serious commitment.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Maybe my pillow and I need should go see that new therapist in town. I wonder if she does couples therapy.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

It doesn't hurt to ask!