Oh noes!

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

My pillow and have separated! Our relationship has fallen apart. We fight everyday about when I should fall asleep! I don't know how to recocile with it!

Oh noes! I've just been served papers! My pillow has taken ownership of my bed!

WAAAAH! I NEED THERAPY!!!

Comments

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

No! Not the pillow! You got to fight this thing, nothing can come between a man and his pillows, damnit!

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

I don't know what to do! It says I only come to it late at night and never spend any time with it! I have no idea how our relationship can be saved!

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

[blinks a few times, uncertain whether he's awake too early or this isn't making sense] I think you need to show that pillow who's boss.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Okay, first of all, you got to make sure you treat it right. Don't use it in pillow fights, because then it will feel used and abused. Not a good thing.

Do you hug it enough in the morning? Pillows like to get snuggled. Also, if you're in your room doing other stuff, take it with you. Use it when you're watching telly, when you're doing homework behind your desk. You got to make it feel needed, man.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Dude, that's just going to lead to a nast divorce.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

I eventually go to sleep on top of it every night. It's only for a few hours and... and... there's some drooling involved.

Does that count?

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

So you're in the middle of a pillow fight? Such a shame!

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean ABUSE, Mr Mitchell. In this scenario, the relationship is not equal, because the pillow isn--shouldn't be sentient.


Yo.

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

Er...aye, that might do it. [does not like the thought of Marty drooling]

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

I snuggle with it every night, but it says I'm not giving it the time it needs. It says I'm too busy, but who puts a roof over it's head? Hmm? Who gives it a good washing when I've drooled on it too much? And it says I take it for granted?!!

All it does is lie there and do nothing.

I think... I think the magic has gone out of our relationship.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Dude, if you're thinking like that, you've already lost.

Yo, man.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

*Drools on you instead*

Like that?

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

But without the women in kinky underwear! It's not even fun!

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Oh man, that's... bad.

Have you considered a new pillow case to spice up your relationship?

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

At least you have a pillow.

My not-a-pillow got itself accused of ripping up another pillow and made a break for it, leaving me without neck support.

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

Mr Blank, really. That honour is reserved for people much closer to me than you are.

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

Maybe the pillow would like some kinky underwear.

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

I know. Believe me, I know.

Sup?

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

*sobs*

I've tried everything. I even gave it a spider-man pillow case. It just made things worse.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

But CJ is my quasi-mommy now! We should have that kind of drooling relationship!

Please help me! I know it's just your pillow-in-law but it means so much to me!

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Spiderman? That's the last resort. Shit. *pats Marty*

Maybe you need to give each other some room? Have you tried letting Angela put some of her perfum on it?

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Do I sense pillow troubles there too?

Careful there, my girlfriend's back and you might get an odd response to that.

[janet_fraiser]

I'd have more sympathy if you didn't think I was an inbred mutant freak with weird toes. As it is, suck it up and deal.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

I gave it a spider-man pillow case. Does that count?

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Now that's a pillow fight!