Woe!

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

My ex-boyfriend, once-virginal founding member of the Male Fans of Celine Dion Club, has been broken up with me for ten whole days and he's turned into a complete man ho.

Now the radio slut is benefiting from everything I taught him!

This is causing me soulpain, dammit! Although I can't look away.... does that make me a perv?

Plus I'm not getting any, dammit!

And everything I try to eat tastes like goddammed chicken!!!

Someone comfort me...?

Comments

[jarodpretends.livejournal.com]

I draw the line at Pretending to be another guy, but costumes aren't a problem. *winks back*

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

Oh, I can definitely get behind that...

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Don't you have space pirates to corrupt? Or something?

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

Apparently I've got a lot of guys to corrupt...

*considers getting an appointment scheduler*

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Fabulous! Have at them! Go for it! Good for you!

Touch Jarod with anything and lose the corresponding body part.

Just so's you know.

*glare*

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

Oh, you think you scare me, bitch?

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

*WHAP*!

*GUT-KICK!

KER-POW!

No. But I think I can hurt you a lot, bitch.

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

OMG! ow!

*SMACK*

*WHAP*

*KICK*

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

*PUNCH!* ZOWIE! WHAMMO!*

...look, we keep this up, no one gets a happy.

I'm taking my Pretender and I'm going home! WAH!

*kick*

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

*SCOWLS*

Dammit!

*consoles self with the rest of FH's male population*

*trip*

[jarodpretends.livejournal.com]

Er, I'm new to this. How exactly would that work?

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

Aw, come here, baby. I'll be gentle...

[jarodpretends.livejournal.com]

Gentle's good. I can handle gentle.

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

We'll definitely start out that way, then.... *purrs*

[jarodpretends.livejournal.com]

*grins* So, did I ever tell you about the time I Pretended to play piano? Lots of finger exercises.

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

Oooooooh... come practice some scales on me, baby...

[jarodpretends.livejournal.com]

*starts with B-Flat Major*

[aka-vala.livejournal.com]

Try E-flat diminished ninth. It's a real man's chord. You could lose a finger....

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Reeeeeeallly.

*blinks*

... how do you feel about handcuffs?

[jarodpretends.livejournal.com]

I think you'd look splendid in them.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

....okay, that at leaves us room for negotiation.

My cuffs or yours?

[jarodpretends.livejournal.com]

Er, yours. Mine don't have a key.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Works. Why don't we start off with being handcuffed together, and work our to who gets handcuffed alone from there?

[jarodpretends.livejournal.com]

So you want me to be handcuffed to you?

Er, maybe we should use my cuffs. I could use some practice picking the lock.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

*pouts*

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Right. But if you can't pick them.... gosh. I guess we stay handcuffed together then, hunh?