fandomtherapy | (no subject)

Current Mood: curious

(no subject)

So, sex.

Who wants more of it? Who wants less of it? Who isn't having it AT ALL? And if you're not having it, WHY NOT?

Who's having it ALL THE TIME? Is there a secret?

And no, I'm not offering myself up (sorry, Toby). Space makes a man curious!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm fifteen!

Really?

Huh.

...but you look twelve.

Fifteen! Well. Technically, I'm fifteen in September, but still. Time travel gave me seven extra months and I'm counting them!

And I do not! It's not my fault I'm not that curvy!

Riiiiight. Maybe you'll find a guy into that kiddy porn vibe.

Not that it's any of your business but I've had sex with three different people since coming here. I think I'll be fine.

...You've had sex with three people at the age of 14?

I think they have help groups for that.

At the age of fifteen. Geez.

Why would I need a help group?

But you said you'd be fifteen in September. And it's still July. So...

And the help group is for the obvious self esteem issues that are at the cause of this. You don't need to have sex to feel better about yourself. I saw it on Oprah!

I said officially! I'm really already fifteen and a bit! Geez!

And I so totally don't have self-esteem issues.

...riiiight.

What's that supposed to mean?! You haven't even talked to me lately! How would you know?

Fourth wall breakage. It happens.

And it means I don't believe you. Duh. And time travel just stunts all sort of normal social development to the point where there aren't enough therapists in the world to help you.

I am not stunted! Take that back!

Awww, that's why I thought you were twelve! It all makes sense.

I hate you. I'm going to steal your booze.

It's just adorable that you think you could.

One beer would knock someone your size on their ass.

You watch, you totally won't be laughing if I really do manage it!

And it would not. I'm not that pathetic, come on. I've had more than a beer before.

Right, you drink and have sex at fourteen.

I'll look for those help groups now.

Fifteen!

And, seriously, what was I supposed to get up to without parental supervision?

...that's your best excuse? Really? Nothing about severe trauma?

Huh.

Next thing you know you'll be doing heroin and hooking in Mexico to make ends meet. I know the story. It's on Jerry Springer all the time.

Sometimes Maury Povich.

What severe trauma? Why would I lie when I'm just having fun?

And don't be stupid, first: I wouldn't do drugs, and two, I'm much more likely to try and get in as an assassin than a hooker.

...I'm sure that'll go over will, too. Good luck with that.

Why do you even care what I do? What's it matter to you?

It doesn't really, you'll learn the hard way on your own. Just pointing something out.

I do that from time to time.

Because you're a fine one to talk about issues, right?