fandomtherapy | (no subject)

Current Mood: curious

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So, sex.

Who wants more of it? Who wants less of it? Who isn't having it AT ALL? And if you're not having it, WHY NOT?

Who's having it ALL THE TIME? Is there a secret?

And no, I'm not offering myself up (sorry, Toby). Space makes a man curious!

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You know, I thought once upon a time that monogamy would be all... boring and repetitive an' junk.

But I happen to be dating a girl who handcuffs herself to my bed at random intervals, yo. You can see how I wound up pleasantly surprised, I'm hopin'.

My sex life? Just as good as ever. And no, I ain't sharin' her.

Sometimes, the hot Latina cop makes me think monogamy might not be such a bad scene.

Tell anybody, and I kill you.

My lips are sealed, yo.

... sometimes, she stays over. After, I mean. I don't usually let 'em stay over. I dunno. It's ... nice, or something.

Fuck, I dunno what I'm trying to say.

... Never had anyone stay over until Rikku stayed over. It was nice. Kinda started a trend or somethin'.

Ain't a bad trend at all, I found.

You are absolutely no--

*remembers our AU kid*

Wait. Never mind. Carry on.

Tiny Evil is a scourge upon humanity and must never again see the light of my reality.

She stole my smokes.

Mine, too.

She was a cute little blighter, though, wasn't she?

She was too cute to be legal.

Not that legality ever meant a hell of a lot to me. But you know what I mean, here. Seriously, yo.

It was the combination of cute and evil that did it.

Which is why, of course, we must never breed.

...we could just use multiple forms of birth control.

Crazy thing about monogamy? It's pretty much rest-assured that while I'm practisin' it, I'm never gonna knock you up, yo.

... It's so freakin' weird, me sayin' that.

You are so much less fun than I'd hoped you would be. Although let's hear it for not knocking me up.

This is me bein' a huge fan of not knockin' you up.

Might have to introduce you to Rude or somethin', though. I think his sex life's been about as depressingly stagnant as yours, yo.

I don't know who that is, but somehow I suspect I would absolutely love to meet Rude.

My sex life has been rather depressingly stagnant, hasn't it? *sobs*

He was that guy? Who was with me while I was off gamblin' that one time and did Radio long-distance? Real talkative except how he's really, really not, yo. Also, bald.

It has. My sympathies. *offers rum*

*drinks rum*

I can work with not-talkative. How is he in the sack?

Like I'd know? Where I've been and what the fangirls think are two real different things, yoto.

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politely-terse.livejournal.com - 2008-07-25 13:52 (UTC) - Expand

I worry about the boring and repetitive thing.

No sharing me? Does this mean no threesomes?

You are so, so not boring and repetitive, yoto. Not by a long shot. I got some of the most awesome scars on my back sayin' that we have some damn fine sex.

And were you hoping for a threesome? Because, uh. If you want, I ain't gonna protest, yo.

Just. You know. Um. The whole. There's ... variety out there, and ... all?

... And no. That'd be weird. No. Really. Not interested. No. Noot even.

Maybe.

Tell me about it? Rikku, I had enough of that variety to be able to write a book if I was some kinda friggin' wordsmith or somethin'. Trust me, you're takin' the lead, here.

Heh. You suuuure?

Some of them had to be prettier, and better at it, and some were probably even both. And I'd bet most of 'em had bigger boobs.

Positive.

Mostly.

Hey, hey, hey. It ain't about the size of the boobs, Rikku. I happen to be real damn fond of your boobs.

You positive you're positive?

My boobs are fond of you.

.... Positive. Mostly. Why, did you, uh .....

>.>

I could show 'em just how much I'm fond of 'em by maybe chewin' on 'em a little. Would they like that?

Heh. You're all curious, ain't you?

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