(no subject)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Is my son a failure?

Case in point, this is a typical day for Lee Gideon Adama:

-Wakes up
-Takes a two hour shower using soap for soft skin and three different shampoos and conditioners.
-Eats toast.
-Styles hair with seven different haircare products.
-Eats toast.
-Admires his biceps and professes his love for said biceps.
-Eats toast.
-Writes poetry about his *gag* feelings.
-Eats English muffins.
-Buys butter.
-Flirts with John Crichton. Does this mean he's gay? I can't tell.
-Let's my sekkrit girlfriend Kara Thrace have her way with him.
-Eats toast with butter and jam.
-Goes to sleep with a teddy bear.

WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

It is a sad state of affairs us parents must deal with.

How do we cease this ridiculous behavior?

[sensethevisions]

Back off, bitch.

Maybe if you were better role models.

[elishevara.livejournal.com]

Oh, bring it on, little witch. I am going to dip you in chocolate and have you for dessert.

[sensethevisions]

What kind of chocolate?

[elishevara.livejournal.com]

Dark chocolate, of course.

[sensethevisions]

*ponders sacrificing herself to be covered in chocolate.*

If I become a demoness, would you still have me for desert covered in chocolate?

[elishevara.livejournal.com]

If you were a demoness, and if you would then be a suitable mate for my son and keep him in line, then he can cover you with dark chocolate and have you for dessert.

...

Not that a mother thinks of her son in that way.

[sensethevisions]

Could you make me a demoness?

[elishevara.livejournal.com]

The Source of All Evil could.


So, apparently, can the WWE. Can you wrestle?

[sensethevisions]

*wants to become a demoness*


Oh yes, I can wrestle

[elishevara.livejournal.com]

I'll have a chat with the Source about it, then. A Charmed One turned demoness would be a powerful servant.


And if large men in spandex ask you to join a professional wrestling organization, just go with it.

[sensethevisions]

Oh, thank you.


Do I get to beat him up?

[elishevara.livejournal.com]

As often as you like.

[sensethevisions]

I like this job.

[elishevara.livejournal.com]

I find beatings to be a very effective deterrent for all but the most stubborn behavior.

[sensethevisions]

Oooh! Beatings.