(no subject)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Is my son a failure?

Case in point, this is a typical day for Lee Gideon Adama:

-Wakes up
-Takes a two hour shower using soap for soft skin and three different shampoos and conditioners.
-Eats toast.
-Styles hair with seven different haircare products.
-Eats toast.
-Admires his biceps and professes his love for said biceps.
-Eats toast.
-Writes poetry about his *gag* feelings.
-Eats English muffins.
-Buys butter.
-Flirts with John Crichton. Does this mean he's gay? I can't tell.
-Let's my sekkrit girlfriend Kara Thrace have her way with him.
-Eats toast with butter and jam.
-Goes to sleep with a teddy bear.

WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

Comments

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

What young, carefree girl hasn't? Continual, the only way to learn is trough practical application of theory.

Unhand me, uncouth villian. *fearlessly looks deep into his velvet eyes, which flash with anger* You do not treat a lady in this fashion.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Will there be hands on demonstrations?

*deep laughter* Do not pretend that you do not like it. You fell into my arms a few weeks ago. I know your body language. You are a terrible liar.

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

Naturally, after all, a student always needs an experienced hand guiding them.

Twankys do not lie. *trembles, helpless in his firm unyielding embrace* You know nothing of my body, you overly familiar ruffian.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

I might be interested in this education. A man in my position must broaden his horizons.

Do not make me prove my knowledge!

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

You would find me a very good teacher, I am very good at broadening the horizons of men in a number of posistions.

I mock your supposed knowledge, you rakish vagabond.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Shall we set up an appointment time then?

*holds you close to my manly bosom*

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

For you, I'll clear my schedule.

*is trapped against your manly bosom*

*looks up into your dark, wild, eyes*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

*writes appointment down in day planner*

*kisses you breathless but does not close eyes!*

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

I look forward to teaching you everything I know.

*is, omg, kissed breathless*

*swoons*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

And I look forward to your firm hand and swift teaching methods.

*throws you over my shoulder, takes you somewhere privates and OMG RAVISHES you*

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

Until then my good man.

*is OMG RAVISHED*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

I look forward to it.

*happies but does not show it because OMG REPUTATION*

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

*is scared*

*needs OMG BRAINBLEACH*