(no subject)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Is my son a failure?

Case in point, this is a typical day for Lee Gideon Adama:

-Wakes up
-Takes a two hour shower using soap for soft skin and three different shampoos and conditioners.
-Eats toast.
-Styles hair with seven different haircare products.
-Eats toast.
-Admires his biceps and professes his love for said biceps.
-Eats toast.
-Writes poetry about his *gag* feelings.
-Eats English muffins.
-Buys butter.
-Flirts with John Crichton. Does this mean he's gay? I can't tell.
-Let's my sekkrit girlfriend Kara Thrace have her way with him.
-Eats toast with butter and jam.
-Goes to sleep with a teddy bear.

WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

Comments

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

What're you implying?! I don't eat toast!

[sogothcally.livejournal.com]

And I do! ...does this mean I have great arms?

[can_be_more]

I've never seen your arms.

[sogothcally.livejournal.com]

*rolls up sleeves*

Well?

[can_be_more]

Not bad. What kind of bread are you using?

[sogothcally.livejournal.com]

Wheat, of course. And the toast is always *finger wiggle* Buttery.

[can_be_more]

Gonna have to remember that. All of that.

[sogothcally.livejournal.com]

Gotta remember the *finger wiggle* buttery. Toast isn't toast if it's not *finger wiggle* buttery.

[can_be_more]

Well, you burn it. That's something. And I still make out with you, remember?

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

No one will teach me! True. But do you like my arms?

[can_be_more]

I will! I'm sure I can master the toaster. Yes, omg.

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Your arms make me weak at the knees, John.

[can_be_more]

Well, they're good arms.

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Matched with him in tight black leather pants? It's amazing either of us can stand in his presence.

[can_be_more]

That's why I usually lay down.

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

I have the incredible urge to be on my knees, actually.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

*faints dead away*

[can_be_more]

If that's not in subtext, you might be honing in on my territory, you know.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

Oh, the nicknames you give me when you're "lying down..."

[can_be_more]

You earn them.

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

Mr Crichton, EVERYONE eats toast. Even those of us who don't need it.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

You're just saying that because you're arms and hands are the stuff dreams are made of.

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

[blush] And they're talented too, I assure you.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

Nimble?

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

Have you SEEN these fingers, Crichton?