(no subject)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Is my son a failure?

Case in point, this is a typical day for Lee Gideon Adama:

-Wakes up
-Takes a two hour shower using soap for soft skin and three different shampoos and conditioners.
-Eats toast.
-Styles hair with seven different haircare products.
-Eats toast.
-Admires his biceps and professes his love for said biceps.
-Eats toast.
-Writes poetry about his *gag* feelings.
-Eats English muffins.
-Buys butter.
-Flirts with John Crichton. Does this mean he's gay? I can't tell.
-Let's my sekkrit girlfriend Kara Thrace have her way with him.
-Eats toast with butter and jam.
-Goes to sleep with a teddy bear.

WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

Comments

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

The dear girl is the very picture of chasity by Fandom High standards at least.I did nothing of the sort mostly because not even Twanky can ruffle Jack Bristow's feathers. I'm more than willing to fill in any gaps in your education. You know what they say, treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.


*flails against Daddy Adama's manly chest* You brute, you ravisher of young women.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

She flirts with vampires! As for this education, would there be tests?

*grabs and looks at her sternly* Romance is overrated.

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

What young, carefree girl hasn't? Continual, the only way to learn is trough practical application of theory.

Unhand me, uncouth villian. *fearlessly looks deep into his velvet eyes, which flash with anger* You do not treat a lady in this fashion.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Will there be hands on demonstrations?

*deep laughter* Do not pretend that you do not like it. You fell into my arms a few weeks ago. I know your body language. You are a terrible liar.

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

Naturally, after all, a student always needs an experienced hand guiding them.

Twankys do not lie. *trembles, helpless in his firm unyielding embrace* You know nothing of my body, you overly familiar ruffian.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

I might be interested in this education. A man in my position must broaden his horizons.

Do not make me prove my knowledge!

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

You would find me a very good teacher, I am very good at broadening the horizons of men in a number of posistions.

I mock your supposed knowledge, you rakish vagabond.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Shall we set up an appointment time then?

*holds you close to my manly bosom*

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

For you, I'll clear my schedule.

*is trapped against your manly bosom*

*looks up into your dark, wild, eyes*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

*writes appointment down in day planner*

*kisses you breathless but does not close eyes!*

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

I look forward to teaching you everything I know.

*is, omg, kissed breathless*

*swoons*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

And I look forward to your firm hand and swift teaching methods.

*throws you over my shoulder, takes you somewhere privates and OMG RAVISHES you*

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

Until then my good man.

*is OMG RAVISHED*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

I look forward to it.

*happies but does not show it because OMG REPUTATION*

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

*is scared*

*needs OMG BRAINBLEACH*