I am so oppressed

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wespryce/]

Dear Doctor,

I have emo daddy issues. Big-time.

However, so does everybody else in Fandom High. This means that my emo daddy issues are not getting their fair share of attention.

MY PARENTAL RELATIONSHIP IS WAY MORE F*CKED UP THAN YOURS! BOW BEFORE MY MISERY!

er... is my hour up yet?

Comments

[dr-jwilsonmd.livejournal.com]

*Thunk*

Dayum...my brain found a whole new level of the gutter for that one.

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

Now, now, let's not be sick.

My sister on the other hand...

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wespryce/]

Vampire family life appears to be one big incestuous orgy in any case.

Which means you probably did the Master, which is way creepier than anything you got up to with Darla, Dru, and/or Spike.

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

Hey, hey, hey! Let's not be gross here. I couldn't stand being underground with that guy for five seconds. Besides, considering what his face looked like I don't even wanna imagine what's going on beneath the belt.

I get through the night by pretending Darla never schtupped him either, even though the likelihood of that being true is right up there with unicons

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wespryce/]

Yup, he totally lost his virginity with Buffy.

Under the couch.

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

Don't tempt me to get started on the bad and boring sexual partners stories. Buffy alone could fill volumes. Or a post-it since "Yawn" covers oh so much

[dr-jwilsonmd.livejournal.com]

You know...and I just managed to find another layer of 'totally' wrong down here. Would you call that your OT3, multi-tasking or maintaining balanced familial relations?

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

I'm a go-getter. I like to think I can do it all. Sometimes I do it all while naked. And wet. In a shower. Not that you'd care.

[dr-jwilsonmd.livejournal.com]

It's good to set goals for yourself. Of course I don't care, I was certainly not spending some time, wet in a shower imagining how much water we'd conserve in a shower together.

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

I like to have things to aspire to. Like showering

[dr-jwilsonmd.livejournal.com]

You challenge yourself, that's a noble sentiment. Or just standing pinned to the shower stall wall with your wrists held above your head.

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

It's how I rise to the occasion. When do we skip to the part where I can use toys on you?

[dr-jwilsonmd.livejournal.com]

No wonder you're a role model to the JAs. We do keep having this discussion about pretty mouths yapping instead of...insert your lewd object of choice here.