fandomtherapy | I am so oppressed

I am so oppressed

Dear Doctor,

I have emo daddy issues. Big-time.

However, so does everybody else in Fandom High. This means that my emo daddy issues are not getting their fair share of attention.

MY PARENTAL RELATIONSHIP IS WAY MORE F*CKED UP THAN YOURS! BOW BEFORE MY MISERY!

er... is my hour up yet?

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*ha ha. ha ha ha. no.*

*It's because you can't mew the high notes, right?*

*attacks your face*

*Ah, violence. The last refuge of those deficient in imagination.*

*Has plenty of imagination. Lacks verbality and opposable thumbs.*

*and high notes*

*clearly you've never seen her band*

"Josie and the Pussycats"?

*cheers you on* Go for the glasses! The glasses!

You just want an unobscured view of my crystal-blue soulful eyes.

No, I want you bruised and battered so I can give you to Lilah as a bribe.

A bribe for what? You could always tie him up and leave him in his closet for three months with only a bucket for company.

Oh, no, wait...

*evil chuckles*

And who knows? I may need a favor. I could maybe need some annoying guy in town kidnapped and delivered to me ~~shirtless~~.

That's it? Put ten pairs of unmarked Manolos by the door to W&H and we'll call it a deal. ~~Shirtless and/or soaking wet costs extra.~~

This season's, as if I needed to specify.

Deal! You want the snakeskin, of course. ~~A *specific* shirtless wet guy, handcuffed, and I'll throw in a dozen Prada handbags.~~

Finally! Someone I don't have to explain things to!

You wouldn't happen to need a job in a multi-dimensional evil law firm, would you? We're always looking for good talent.

~~Depends on how tricky he is to capture. Is he wily?~~

(no subject)

mparkerceo.livejournal.com - 2005-11-18 22:14 (UTC) - Expand

I'd like to remind you who is the top in this relationship, and who dressed up with *pigtails* to try to get whose attention.

Hey, if you didn't favor girls who, except for the hair, look like preadolescent boys, I wouldn't have had to dress up.

And you wouldn't know the top of a relationship if you were sitting on it with a whip.

*waves a certain dollar under your nose*

Now you've done it. I just reread Salvage and cried.

Yayyyy! See if you can take out an eyebrow, while you're at it!

Hey! People aren't allowed to be mean to me in my OWN EMO THREAD! Is nothing sacred?

* loses the glasses* *flails wildly at his face*

*now seems intent on removing his left eyebrow from existence*

*fortunately is so handsome that scars only increase his manly beauty*

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