(no subject)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Is my son a failure?

Case in point, this is a typical day for Lee Gideon Adama:

-Wakes up
-Takes a two hour shower using soap for soft skin and three different shampoos and conditioners.
-Eats toast.
-Styles hair with seven different haircare products.
-Eats toast.
-Admires his biceps and professes his love for said biceps.
-Eats toast.
-Writes poetry about his *gag* feelings.
-Eats English muffins.
-Buys butter.
-Flirts with John Crichton. Does this mean he's gay? I can't tell.
-Let's my sekkrit girlfriend Kara Thrace have her way with him.
-Eats toast with butter and jam.
-Goes to sleep with a teddy bear.

WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Did you call her? I am not marrying her to be your stepfather no matter how much you want that to be!

It's a gift but I would've thought you would have been stronger. Cylon!Xena was wrong about you!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Does your deat Callisto learn her promiscuity from you, ma'am? Because from what I hear you CHEATED ON ME also came onto several other men the weekend that we met. My education is scattered and broken because of women who treat me bad.

My dear Twanky, if I'd wanted to hold Callisto, I would've done so without the pesky tears as an excuse. However, I had another in mind...

[elishevara.livejournal.com]

I ask myself that same question every day. My son is supposed to be a ruthless, heartless killer. Instead he's sending his girlfriend flowers and snuggling. WTF?

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

*FALLS ASLEEP IN YOUR ARMS, ENCHANTED*

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

*shouts back "SHUT UP!!"*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

...

At least you're prepared. Is Kara ready for children?

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

I AM ALWAYS PREPARED. And therefore, NO. There will be no children until the two of us are properly settled and have a steady income!

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

You brought her up first! Not you're marrying her because you like to be a sekrit boyfriend pseudeo-daddy to strong, young, blonde women.

I am more than strong enough to withstand your emo-fu! It was suggesting Widow Twanky was my blood relative that did it!

Re: ARGH DAD!!

[sensethevisions]

Well maybe he is, you big blow-hard! Instead of assuming, why don't you ask him what he's doing? Quit relying on other people's reports.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

It is a sad state of affairs us parents must deal with.

How do we cease this ridiculous behavior?

[sensethevisions]

So he's weak-willed. How proud you must be.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

BECAUSE ZAK IS THE CHOSEN ONE! FRAK ANAKIN!

[sensethevisions]

Back off, bitch.

Maybe if you were better role models.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Does Kara know that she will soon be giving me grandchildren?

Re: ARGH DAD!!

[freelancerchick.livejournal.com]

*moves very close to Lee, easily towering over the wee boy with her freakish height*

Wanna say that again?

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

I DON'T WANT TO FRAK ANAKIN! HE'S TOTALLY TAKEN BY THAT OBI-WAN DUDE!

[narcisssa.livejournal.com]

At least your son isn't fucking his enemy's mother.

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

...no. I try to be a master of subtlety, you ASS.

[freelancerchick.livejournal.com]

*laughs* And you let him? Pathetic.

Re: ARGH DAD!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

...

You sound like a Cylon? Only a Cylon or Widow Twanky would talk to me like that!

[twanky-twiddle.livejournal.com]

The dear girl is the very picture of chasity by Fandom High standards at least.I did nothing of the sort mostly because not even Twanky can ruffle Jack Bristow's feathers. I'm more than willing to fill in any gaps in your education. You know what they say, treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.


*flails against Daddy Adama's manly chest* You brute, you ravisher of young women.

Re: ARGH DAD!!

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Must you be predisposed to ride my ass?

Re: ARGH DAD!!

[freelancerchick.livejournal.com]

Comes with the armour, kid.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Well...

The question is how do we stop this?

Re: ARGH DAD!!

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Right.