(no subject)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Is my son a failure?

Case in point, this is a typical day for Lee Gideon Adama:

-Wakes up
-Takes a two hour shower using soap for soft skin and three different shampoos and conditioners.
-Eats toast.
-Styles hair with seven different haircare products.
-Eats toast.
-Admires his biceps and professes his love for said biceps.
-Eats toast.
-Writes poetry about his *gag* feelings.
-Eats English muffins.
-Buys butter.
-Flirts with John Crichton. Does this mean he's gay? I can't tell.
-Let's my sekkrit girlfriend Kara Thrace have her way with him.
-Eats toast with butter and jam.
-Goes to sleep with a teddy bear.

WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

Comments

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

OMG, OT, from Desert Places this morning:

"Give what you have to Ali," al-Adama said. "He needs to keep his strength, as he is more like his mother than myself. Zak took more after me. Remember our Zak, my wife? How he could ride for days with half a skein full and come back as fresh as when he left. I never saw a warrior like him, before or since."


OMG EVEN IN FIC YOU'RE RIDING MY ASS OVER THIS.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

BECAUSE ZAK IS THE CHOSEN ONE! FRAK ANAKIN!

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

I DON'T WANT TO FRAK ANAKIN! HE'S TOTALLY TAKEN BY THAT OBI-WAN DUDE!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

THREESOME!

If you are frakking boys, I deserve to know as this will affect my plans for grandchildren.

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

...*brain breaks*

I am FRAKKING KARA and our progeny will be BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG AND WISE AND NOBLE.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Son, please tell me you're not using Earth contraceptive devices.

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Kara's on Caprican hormonal suppressants.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

You might have to trick her to get her to go off the suppressants. She needs children!

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Not till I have an income to support her and the children!!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

And when will this be? I nee grandchildren. Zak cannot be the commander of the Galactica forever!

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

ZAK WILL NEVER BE THE COMMANDER OF THE GALACTICA! I WILL! I WILL! I WILL! *throws tantrum*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME, GIDEON!

GO STAND IN THE CORNER IMMEDIATELY!

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

*SULKS*

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

Damn right. I mean, wait...

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

*lusts*

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

*preens*

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

Stealing my boyfriend? Your Jedi-fu does not scare me!

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

It should, OMG. I could Jedi-fu you into believing you were a chicken if I wanted to. But I won't because That Would Be Wrong.

So instead I will rely on my superior toast-making abilities. And my giant light-up phallic symbol.

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

*sulks*

*puts on his "Chosen One, OMG" t-shirt*

*sulks some more*

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

Until you've got the matching hat, you are so not the Chosen One.

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

After the Mace Windu Gets Drunk and Wears a Leopard Print Pimp Hat Incident, Jedi have been forbidden from wearing head attire other than the hoods of our cloaks.

But my cloak also says "Chosen One." In sequins.

*twirls*

See?