(no subject)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Is my son a failure?

Case in point, this is a typical day for Lee Gideon Adama:

-Wakes up
-Takes a two hour shower using soap for soft skin and three different shampoos and conditioners.
-Eats toast.
-Styles hair with seven different haircare products.
-Eats toast.
-Admires his biceps and professes his love for said biceps.
-Eats toast.
-Writes poetry about his *gag* feelings.
-Eats English muffins.
-Buys butter.
-Flirts with John Crichton. Does this mean he's gay? I can't tell.
-Let's my sekkrit girlfriend Kara Thrace have her way with him.
-Eats toast with butter and jam.
-Goes to sleep with a teddy bear.

WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

BECAUSE ZAK IS THE CHOSEN ONE! FRAK ANAKIN!

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

I DON'T WANT TO FRAK ANAKIN! HE'S TOTALLY TAKEN BY THAT OBI-WAN DUDE!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

THREESOME!

If you are frakking boys, I deserve to know as this will affect my plans for grandchildren.

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

...*brain breaks*

I am FRAKKING KARA and our progeny will be BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG AND WISE AND NOBLE.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

Son, please tell me you're not using Earth contraceptive devices.

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Kara's on Caprican hormonal suppressants.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

You might have to trick her to get her to go off the suppressants. She needs children!

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

Not till I have an income to support her and the children!!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

And when will this be? I nee grandchildren. Zak cannot be the commander of the Galactica forever!

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

ZAK WILL NEVER BE THE COMMANDER OF THE GALACTICA! I WILL! I WILL! I WILL! *throws tantrum*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_original_emo/]

DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME, GIDEON!

GO STAND IN THE CORNER IMMEDIATELY!

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

*SULKS*

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

Damn right. I mean, wait...

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

*lusts*

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

*preens*

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

Stealing my boyfriend? Your Jedi-fu does not scare me!

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

It should, OMG. I could Jedi-fu you into believing you were a chicken if I wanted to. But I won't because That Would Be Wrong.

So instead I will rely on my superior toast-making abilities. And my giant light-up phallic symbol.

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

*sulks*

*puts on his "Chosen One, OMG" t-shirt*

*sulks some more*

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

Until you've got the matching hat, you are so not the Chosen One.

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

After the Mace Windu Gets Drunk and Wears a Leopard Print Pimp Hat Incident, Jedi have been forbidden from wearing head attire other than the hoods of our cloaks.

But my cloak also says "Chosen One." In sequins.

*twirls*

See?