(no subject)

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

So, let's talk about my favorite thing in the world: Sex.

Want more of it? Less of it? Who's not having it? Why aren't you having it? Would you like to have it with me?

And if you answer that last question with a "no", I'll know you're lying.

Alternatively for you prudes: How do you feel about bears and pie? Not mixed together. Or mixed together. I don't judge. My name's not Dan Humphrey.

Comments

[weefeetbigboots.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend isn't putting out.

:(

Though we do other stuff. Ahem.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

You should find yourself someone who puts out.

Hey...

*I* put out!

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

PREGNANCY HORMONES ARE FUN.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

This intrigues me. I can't say I've ever had sex with a pregnant chick. Or at least not to my knowledge.

[lots-of-olives.livejournal.com]

Bears and pie do not belong together in any capacity whatsoever. Bears on their own, however, are an important species and contribute to the environments in which they dwell. Pie is an excellent dessert in moderate amounts -- as with anything, over-consumption of pie can be detrimental.

And no, I don't want to talk about my sex life.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

So you're not getting any?

[minnesota-teen.livejournal.com]

Not having it. At all. But would like it! Before I turn 18! Geeze.

And I'm not having it because I don't have a boyfriend and that doesn't really matter, does it?

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Hey, I offered. You have no one to blame but yourself.

Although I could probably be convinced to give you another chance.

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

I'm waiting till the time's right.

I'm not gay!

I've done other stuff.

It's perfectly normal!

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. Normally I'd walk away now but your girlfriend said I should give you advice.

So what's the real problem? Afraid you'll have performance anxiety?

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

I'm having so much sex that sometimes I worry I'm going to break his hip.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

I'm not surprised. Your sister was very vigorous. I can only imagine what a seasoned veteran like you would be like.

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

Long distance relationships are hard.

:(

But, fun when we ARE together. I save my stamina!

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Phone sex?

[swipedthatfoot.livejournal.com]

So not having it. Not sure why. I'm going with "the guy I'm kind of seeing is old-fashioned."

It's ... actually weirdly refreshing. Plus things went really badly last time I had sex, no need to jump right into it again. I'm cool with being single.

OKAY I would like to get lucky again before I graduate.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

I'm single too but that doesn't mean I go without sex. An offer for a one night stand is always on the table.

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

I can't complain. Though it is to the point where we're not allowed to kiss hello half the time for fear the it will halt all conversation for the day.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

I'm not seeing the problem with this. From my experience you're not a real master of the conversational arts anyway.

[tyler_gone]

I'm completely satisfied with the meaningless sex I'm having even if it weirds me out to consider the source.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Why does it weird you out? He's hot and dresses fabulously.

[just-add-starch.livejournal.com]

All I have to do is dress up like a hockey player and she jumps me. I have a lot, sometimes twice a day, and I keep going back for more.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

A hockey player? Really? I always thought she was kind of a lesbian. That just makes her hotter, really.

[always-damp.livejournal.com]

For serious, I need a boyfriend. *sighs*

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

I'll...take off my shirt around you?

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

I'm finally getting back in the game after an ungodly dry spell.

And yes, I want to have sex with you.

Amongst other people. Some of them for a second time!

[always-damp.livejournal.com]

*SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHS*

You are so flaunting your hotness here.

[bad-nose-job.livejournal.com]

Uhhhh...

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

What? Too shy? Because I know it can't be the nose thing. Even Michael Jackson has had kids and his nose looks like it's been in a wood chipper.

[meg-powers.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what all the fuss is about.

Then again, I haven't had any yet, so what do I know?

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

I could show you what all the fuss is about, if you'd like.

[saveyoulater.livejournal.com]

I haven't done anything except kissing since September 2007.

Let's just say I have a lot of tension to work out.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

What's the problem? You're hot. I'm sure you can get somebody.

[imac-kenzie.livejournal.com]

... I miss it.

But no, I don't want to have sex with you. Really I don't.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

I'm calling your bluff.

[darkangelsawyer.livejournal.com]

Definitely want more of it. Just don't seem to be having any luck finding it.

Haven't had any since Jake had to leave.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

I am always available. I promise you won't regret it.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

...If I knew what the fifth was, I'd take it.

And I'm not answering any part of that.

Though I'm not lying.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

You're vagueness tells me that you do indeed want to sleep with me. It's okay. You don't have to say it out loud.

But what are your feelings on bears and pie?

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

I would certainly like to try it again.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

I would be more than happy to assist you.

[flashesforinfo.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetie, of course I want more. Who doesn't?

I'm working on that.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

All you'd have to do is say the word and I'm yours.

Hannibal can come too. Pun intended.

[crazypilotman.livejournal.com]

I'm fine, thanks for askin'.

And no, I don't want to have it with you.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Someone is in denial.

[saltandammo.livejournal.com]

Dude, please. Me have sex with you? Not going to happen ever. I have a helluva lot better taste than that.

And are you that desperate you have to solicit for sex in therapy communities? Guess some of us have to go to extraordinary lengths to get some.

Hasn't been a problem for me. Ever.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

I think you're protesting too much.

And I'm not soliciting. I'm merely taking a poll about sex for...sociological purposes. If I can help others with their dry spells, then consider it a bonus.

[likethegun]

Aside from a...recent incident, I am quite happy with how much I'm getting, thank you very much.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Yeah but admit it, if we met my voice would get you all hot and bothered. Don't lie to me, Katie

[not-that-gentle.livejournal.com]

A lady doesn't answer questions like these.

Though I do like both bears and pie.

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to have offended your delicate feminine sensibilities.

Here, I'll change the subject. Do you know many bears?